You have three responsibilities with your assigned story. Feel free to consult with me on any of these responsibilities a day or two before your presentation.
1. Introduce your story. Do not under any circumstances summarize the plot or read us the author introduction from the textbook, but give the class any important background information you have gleaned by googling the story or its author. A key fact or two about the author’s background, relevant circumstances of the story’s composition or its literary reputation—these can be useful to the class in placing the story in appropriate context. Keep this portion brief—a minute or two.
2. Post your essay on the story to your blog and read what you have written. Also, print one hard copy to give to me and submit electronically to turnitin.com (Assignment: Short story presentation). Your topic may be any aspect of the story’s technique, style, or meaning. Suggested length is 600 to 800 words. We will follow your reading with a brief round of commendations and questions from the class.
3. Lead a discussion of the story in the time remaining. One excellent way to begin a group discussion is to ask a question to which you don’t have a complete answer yourself, something important about the story you’re still trying to figure out. If you’re not sure whether the main character made the right decision, ask the class. If there’s a scene whose meaning is ambiguous or whose significance is unclear, ask the class.
For stories other than your assigned story, you have these responsibilities:
1. Read the story before coming to class that day.
2. Contribute to the discussion, either by offering a commendation or question to the writer of that day’s paper or by contributing your comments during the open discussion the second half of the period.
3. Post an entry to your blog once a week. You may write one longer entry on an individual story or post an entry made up of several shorter pieces on a number of stories for that week. Entries may be written prior to class, containing your reader responses to that day’s story or be written after class, developing and elaborating on an issue raised during discussion. No rehashes, please.
4. (Optional, but strongly encouraged): Post a comment on the blog of each day’s presenter.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Introduction to Tragedy
Read this brief list of key points about tragedy, taken from a variety of print sources. Then click here for an on-line resource from the Classics Technology Center on the same topic. Read the Introduction page and come to class with questions and comments. We will use part of this site as we read Oedipus the King and Antigone over the next two weeks.
• A tragic character is one who is usually highly renowned and prosperous, who comes to misfortune because of some weakness or error in judgment (hamartia). This error has several possible sources: a miscalculation or misunderstanding, a lack of knowledge, ignorance of family relationships, or hubris.
• Because of this error, or “tragic flaw,” the tragic characters isolate and destroy themselves. Because they possess many fundamentally virtuous qualities, their destruction is a waste of potential good. Yet in dying they triumph over the madness and darkness within themselves and gain a degree of insight into their dilemma.
• Even if the hero is subject to the relentless, inexorable qualities of human fatality, the downfall is the result of choice, not the result of pure accident or villainy or some overriding malignant force. Accident, villainy, or fate may contribute to the downfall but only as cooperating agents.
• Aristotle identifies an important tragic moment (anagnorisis), the recognition or discovery, a revelation of some fact not known before or some person’s true identity. Modern critics have taken the term to mean the terrible enlightenment that accompanies such a recognition. “To see things plain—that is anagnorisis. It is what tragedy ultimately is about: the realization of the unthinkable.”
• According to Aristotle, the audience pities the central character and fears being in the same predicament. In the end, we feel purged of these emotions (catharsis) and learn something from these incidents, since their larger, universal significance is clear.
• In the end the tragic character is fallen in worldly state but uplifted in moral dignity. With the fall of the hero and his gain in wisdom or self-knowledge, there is, besides the appalling sense of human waste, a fresh recognition of human greatness, a sense that human life has unrealized potentialities. Both the hero and the audience gain understanding from his defeat.
• “I believe the writers who get the most lasting response from readers are the writers who offer a happy ending through moral development. By a happy ending, I do not mean mere fortunate events—a marriage or last-minute rescue from death—but some kind of spiritual reassessment or moral reconciliation, even with the self, even at death.”--British novelist Fay Weldon
N.B. Some of the above sentences are taken verbatim from their sources; others are slightly paraphrased. All the ideas are borrowed from the following sources:
The World of Tragedy, John Kimmey and Ashley Brown
Perrine’s Literature, Thomas Arp
Literature: An Introduction to Fiction, Poetry, and Drama, X.J. Kenney and Dana Gioia
Tragedy, Clifford Leech
Poetics, Aristotle
• A tragic character is one who is usually highly renowned and prosperous, who comes to misfortune because of some weakness or error in judgment (hamartia). This error has several possible sources: a miscalculation or misunderstanding, a lack of knowledge, ignorance of family relationships, or hubris.
• Because of this error, or “tragic flaw,” the tragic characters isolate and destroy themselves. Because they possess many fundamentally virtuous qualities, their destruction is a waste of potential good. Yet in dying they triumph over the madness and darkness within themselves and gain a degree of insight into their dilemma.
• Even if the hero is subject to the relentless, inexorable qualities of human fatality, the downfall is the result of choice, not the result of pure accident or villainy or some overriding malignant force. Accident, villainy, or fate may contribute to the downfall but only as cooperating agents.
• Aristotle identifies an important tragic moment (anagnorisis), the recognition or discovery, a revelation of some fact not known before or some person’s true identity. Modern critics have taken the term to mean the terrible enlightenment that accompanies such a recognition. “To see things plain—that is anagnorisis. It is what tragedy ultimately is about: the realization of the unthinkable.”
• According to Aristotle, the audience pities the central character and fears being in the same predicament. In the end, we feel purged of these emotions (catharsis) and learn something from these incidents, since their larger, universal significance is clear.
• In the end the tragic character is fallen in worldly state but uplifted in moral dignity. With the fall of the hero and his gain in wisdom or self-knowledge, there is, besides the appalling sense of human waste, a fresh recognition of human greatness, a sense that human life has unrealized potentialities. Both the hero and the audience gain understanding from his defeat.
• “I believe the writers who get the most lasting response from readers are the writers who offer a happy ending through moral development. By a happy ending, I do not mean mere fortunate events—a marriage or last-minute rescue from death—but some kind of spiritual reassessment or moral reconciliation, even with the self, even at death.”--British novelist Fay Weldon
N.B. Some of the above sentences are taken verbatim from their sources; others are slightly paraphrased. All the ideas are borrowed from the following sources:
The World of Tragedy, John Kimmey and Ashley Brown
Perrine’s Literature, Thomas Arp
Literature: An Introduction to Fiction, Poetry, and Drama, X.J. Kenney and Dana Gioia
Tragedy, Clifford Leech
Poetics, Aristotle
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
AP October novel list
Select one of the following novels and write an essay exploring one aspect of the novel’s meaning.
Jane Austen (Persuasion, Emma, Sense and Sensibility)
Charlotte Bronte (Jane Eyre)
Emily Bronte (Wuthering Heights)
Daniel Defoe (Moll Flanders, Robinson Crusoe)
Charles Dickens (A Tale of Two Cities)
Fyodor Dostoevski (Crime and Punishment)
George Eliot (Silas Marner)
Henry Fielding (Joseph Andrews)
Gustave Flaubert (Madame Bovary)
Thomas Hardy (The Mayor of Casterbridge, Tess of the
D’Urbervilles, Return of the Native)
Henry James (Washington Square)
James Joyce (A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man)
Leo Tolstoy (Anna Karenina)
Anthony Trollope (Barchester Towers)
Mark Twain (A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court)
Oscar Wilde (Picture of Dorian Gray)
Virginia Woolf (Mrs. Dalloway)
Essay Assignment (Due Wednesday, October 17):
Write an essay of approximately 1000—1200 words developing in some detail a topic central to the novel you have read. Refer frequently and specifically to the novel as you develop your topic. Listed below are several options, but you may see me for approval of other approaches if you wish.
1. The author’s presentation of a central character—how does the character grow or develop during the course of the novel and how is that development central to the novel’s meaning?
2. How does the author identify and develop the central conflict of the novel? How is it related to the novel’s meaning?
3. What social theme or issue is central to understanding the characters’ dilemmas or fates? How does the novel persuade us to share the author’s implied views regarding this issue?
4. Examine a key scene or incident from the novel. Explain how the scene is significant to our understanding of multiple aspects of the novel: characterization, theme, form, and/or structure.
Jane Austen (Persuasion, Emma, Sense and Sensibility)
Charlotte Bronte (Jane Eyre)
Emily Bronte (Wuthering Heights)
Daniel Defoe (Moll Flanders, Robinson Crusoe)
Charles Dickens (A Tale of Two Cities)
Fyodor Dostoevski (Crime and Punishment)
George Eliot (Silas Marner)
Henry Fielding (Joseph Andrews)
Gustave Flaubert (Madame Bovary)
Thomas Hardy (The Mayor of Casterbridge, Tess of the
D’Urbervilles, Return of the Native)
Henry James (Washington Square)
James Joyce (A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man)
Leo Tolstoy (Anna Karenina)
Anthony Trollope (Barchester Towers)
Mark Twain (A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court)
Oscar Wilde (Picture of Dorian Gray)
Virginia Woolf (Mrs. Dalloway)
Essay Assignment (Due Wednesday, October 17):
Write an essay of approximately 1000—1200 words developing in some detail a topic central to the novel you have read. Refer frequently and specifically to the novel as you develop your topic. Listed below are several options, but you may see me for approval of other approaches if you wish.
1. The author’s presentation of a central character—how does the character grow or develop during the course of the novel and how is that development central to the novel’s meaning?
2. How does the author identify and develop the central conflict of the novel? How is it related to the novel’s meaning?
3. What social theme or issue is central to understanding the characters’ dilemmas or fates? How does the novel persuade us to share the author’s implied views regarding this issue?
4. Examine a key scene or incident from the novel. Explain how the scene is significant to our understanding of multiple aspects of the novel: characterization, theme, form, and/or structure.
AP Assignments Sept 10--October 19
Week 3: September 10—14
1: A Rose For Emily (p. 28); Style 1.6
2: Everyday Use (p.443); Style 1.7
3: Teenage Wasteland (p. 35) Style 1.8
4: Interpreter of Maladies (p. 579); Multiple choice quiz 2
Week 4: September 17—21
1: A & P (p. 14); Style 1.9
2: Revelation (p. 368); Style 2.0
3: A Good Man is Hard to Find (p.358); Style 2.1
4: Cathedral (p. 98); Vocab quiz 2 (lessons 4-6)
Week 5: September 24—28
1: A Clean, Well-Lighted Place (p. 156); Style 2.2
2: Harrison Bergeron (p. 220); Style 2.3
3: Battle Royal (p. 526); Style 2.4
4: The Yellow Wallpaper (p. 424); Multiple choice quiz 3
Week 6: October 1—4 (No school Friday)
1: Shiloh (p. 604); Style 2.5
2: Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been (p. 613); Style 2.6
3: The Things They Carried (p. 625)
Week 7: October 9—12—No school Monday (Columbus Day)
1: The Rocking-Horse Winner (p. 593); style 2.7
2: Greasy Lake (p. 129); style 2.8
3: The Five Forty-Eight (p. 503) (section 2 reads "A Worn Path"); vocab quiz 3 (lessons 7-9)
Week 8: October 15—19
1: I Stand Here Ironing (p. 637); Style 2.9
2: Papers due for October novels (1000-1250 wds); style 2.10
1: A Rose For Emily (p. 28); Style 1.6
2: Everyday Use (p.443); Style 1.7
3: Teenage Wasteland (p. 35) Style 1.8
4: Interpreter of Maladies (p. 579); Multiple choice quiz 2
Week 4: September 17—21
1: A & P (p. 14); Style 1.9
2: Revelation (p. 368); Style 2.0
3: A Good Man is Hard to Find (p.358); Style 2.1
4: Cathedral (p. 98); Vocab quiz 2 (lessons 4-6)
Week 5: September 24—28
1: A Clean, Well-Lighted Place (p. 156); Style 2.2
2: Harrison Bergeron (p. 220); Style 2.3
3: Battle Royal (p. 526); Style 2.4
4: The Yellow Wallpaper (p. 424); Multiple choice quiz 3
Week 6: October 1—4 (No school Friday)
1: Shiloh (p. 604); Style 2.5
2: Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been (p. 613); Style 2.6
3: The Things They Carried (p. 625)
Week 7: October 9—12—No school Monday (Columbus Day)
1: The Rocking-Horse Winner (p. 593); style 2.7
2: Greasy Lake (p. 129); style 2.8
3: The Five Forty-Eight (p. 503) (section 2 reads "A Worn Path"); vocab quiz 3 (lessons 7-9)
Week 8: October 15—19
1: I Stand Here Ironing (p. 637); Style 2.9
2: Papers due for October novels (1000-1250 wds); style 2.10
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR EMAIL PASSWORD
1. Log in to PCDS webmail: https://webmail.pcds.org
2. Type in username (lastnamefirstinitial) and current password
3. On blue menu on the left side click OPTIONS
4. Scroll down to PASSWORD and click CHANGE PASSWORD
5. Type in your current login (lastnamefirstinitial) and current password
6. Fill out the Internet Service Manager with:
a. Domain-PCDS
b. Account-lastnamefirstinitial
c. Old Password
d. New Password
e. Confirm
f. Okay
2. Type in username (lastnamefirstinitial) and current password
3. On blue menu on the left side click OPTIONS
4. Scroll down to PASSWORD and click CHANGE PASSWORD
5. Type in your current login (lastnamefirstinitial) and current password
6. Fill out the Internet Service Manager with:
a. Domain-PCDS
b. Account-lastnamefirstinitial
c. Old Password
d. New Password
e. Confirm
f. Okay
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Assignments: Weeks 1-4--Eng IV
Note: Assignments are DUE on the day indicated.
Week 1: August 27—31
T. First day—welcome, syllabus, style intro 1.0, blog intro, assignments
W. Set up account with Google Reader (see “how to start a blog,” July 25, 2007); write the letter indicated in the instructions after you establish your blog; Style 1.1; vocabulary intro (bring books)
Th. Discussion of reading and writing; style 1.2
F. Blog entry on selected summer novels
Week 2: September 4—7—No classes Monday (Labor Day)
W. Discussion of selected blog entries on summer novels; Style 1.3
Th. Read introduction to tragedy; style 1.4
F. Essays due in class and to turnitin; Vocab quiz 1 (Lessons 1-3)
Week 3: September 10—14
T. Read Three Theban Plays, pp. 159-187— style 1.5
W. Theban Plays, pp. 188-210; Style 1.6
Th. Theban Plays, pp.211-251; Style 1.7
F. Discussion of Oedipus the King; style 1.8
Week 4: September 17—21
T. Theban Plays 59-90; Style 1.9
W. Theban Plays 91-128; Style 2.0
Th. Further discussion of Antigone; Style 2.1
F. The Death of Ivan Ilyich, read chapters 1-3; Vocab quiz 2 (lessons 4-6)
Week 1: August 27—31
T. First day—welcome, syllabus, style intro 1.0, blog intro, assignments
W. Set up account with Google Reader (see “how to start a blog,” July 25, 2007); write the letter indicated in the instructions after you establish your blog; Style 1.1; vocabulary intro (bring books)
Th. Discussion of reading and writing; style 1.2
F. Blog entry on selected summer novels
Week 2: September 4—7—No classes Monday (Labor Day)
W. Discussion of selected blog entries on summer novels; Style 1.3
Th. Read introduction to tragedy; style 1.4
F. Essays due in class and to turnitin; Vocab quiz 1 (Lessons 1-3)
Week 3: September 10—14
T. Read Three Theban Plays, pp. 159-187— style 1.5
W. Theban Plays, pp. 188-210; Style 1.6
Th. Theban Plays, pp.211-251; Style 1.7
F. Discussion of Oedipus the King; style 1.8
Week 4: September 17—21
T. Theban Plays 59-90; Style 1.9
W. Theban Plays 91-128; Style 2.0
Th. Further discussion of Antigone; Style 2.1
F. The Death of Ivan Ilyich, read chapters 1-3; Vocab quiz 2 (lessons 4-6)
Writing assignments for summer novels (IV & AP)
English IV & AP
Mr. Coon
August, 2007
Summer writing assignments
Write your responses as entries in your blog or as hard copies, as indicated
For English IV students:
1. Write a personal response piece for the novel you have read (your choice of novel if you read more than one title from my list). Reader response involves more than simply saying whether you enjoyed the novel or not. Ideally you are able to identify specific scenes or factors that shaped your overall response and then discuss briefly why the novel affected you as it did. In other words, what is it about this novel that made you react to it as you did? Due Friday, August 31 as blog entry. Length 400-600 words. No turnitin.
2. Instead of #1 above, select a passage you think is important in some way to the novel as a whole. Type the passage, then in approximately 400-600 words of your own explain your choice. Due Friday, August 31. No turnitin
3. Finally, give some thought to the issue of how writers make their characters seem like recognizable human beings. In your opinion, how do the characters in the novel embody traits that you see as fundamentally human? Focus on one or two of the characters in your novel and discuss what you see as their essential humanity. Include specific examples and brief but relevant quotations from the novel. Due Friday, September 7 as hard copy. 500-700 words. Include turnitin.com receipt number
For AP students:
1. #3 above is due Friday, August 31 as blog entry; length 500-600 words. No turnitin.
2. For Friday, September 7, in 600-800 words, hard copy, discuss one specific literary aspect of Pride and Prejudice. Select a character, a theme, or a key scene and discuss Austen's handling and presentation of that element of the novel. See syllabus, section 4 for further ideas. Or show how the writers of Becoming Jane created a version of Jane Austen’s life that would allow her to write Pride and Prejudice. Turnitin.com.
Mr. Coon
August, 2007
Summer writing assignments
Write your responses as entries in your blog or as hard copies, as indicated
For English IV students:
1. Write a personal response piece for the novel you have read (your choice of novel if you read more than one title from my list). Reader response involves more than simply saying whether you enjoyed the novel or not. Ideally you are able to identify specific scenes or factors that shaped your overall response and then discuss briefly why the novel affected you as it did. In other words, what is it about this novel that made you react to it as you did? Due Friday, August 31 as blog entry. Length 400-600 words. No turnitin.
2. Instead of #1 above, select a passage you think is important in some way to the novel as a whole. Type the passage, then in approximately 400-600 words of your own explain your choice. Due Friday, August 31. No turnitin
3. Finally, give some thought to the issue of how writers make their characters seem like recognizable human beings. In your opinion, how do the characters in the novel embody traits that you see as fundamentally human? Focus on one or two of the characters in your novel and discuss what you see as their essential humanity. Include specific examples and brief but relevant quotations from the novel. Due Friday, September 7 as hard copy. 500-700 words. Include turnitin.com receipt number
For AP students:
1. #3 above is due Friday, August 31 as blog entry; length 500-600 words. No turnitin.
2. For Friday, September 7, in 600-800 words, hard copy, discuss one specific literary aspect of Pride and Prejudice. Select a character, a theme, or a key scene and discuss Austen's handling and presentation of that element of the novel. See syllabus, section 4 for further ideas. Or show how the writers of Becoming Jane created a version of Jane Austen’s life that would allow her to write Pride and Prejudice. Turnitin.com.
Assignments: Weeks 1 & 2--AP
Week 1: August 27—31
Day 1: First day—welcome, syllabus, style intro 1.0, blog intro, assignments
Day 2: Set up account with Google Reader (see “how to start a blog,” July 25, 2007); write the letter indicated in the instructions after you establish your blog; Style 1.1; vocabulary intro (bring books)
Day 3: Discussion of reading and writing; Style 1.2
Day 4: Quiz 1—Multiple choice (15 minutes); blog entry on selected summer reading novels
Week 2: September 4—7—No classes Monday (Labor Day)
Day 1: Discussion of recommended summer novels; Style 1.3
Day 2: Discussion of Pride and Prejudice; Style 1.4
Day 3: Short paper due on Pride and Prejudice; vocab quiz 1 (lessons 1-3)
Day 1: First day—welcome, syllabus, style intro 1.0, blog intro, assignments
Day 2: Set up account with Google Reader (see “how to start a blog,” July 25, 2007); write the letter indicated in the instructions after you establish your blog; Style 1.1; vocabulary intro (bring books)
Day 3: Discussion of reading and writing; Style 1.2
Day 4: Quiz 1—Multiple choice (15 minutes); blog entry on selected summer reading novels
Week 2: September 4—7—No classes Monday (Labor Day)
Day 1: Discussion of recommended summer novels; Style 1.3
Day 2: Discussion of Pride and Prejudice; Style 1.4
Day 3: Short paper due on Pride and Prejudice; vocab quiz 1 (lessons 1-3)
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Welcome to Room 311
Dear Seniors,
Welcome to my room and to that part of your senior year you will spend here. Although I know the room belongs to the school, its décor reflects my personality and since I set most of the agenda for what goes on here, the room feels like mine and I treat it as such. I hope you will too.
I’m looking forward to sharing my room with you this year. I hope we’ll learn a great deal from each other in the time we spend together here. We’ll talk about books, about writing, about ideas, about life, and about each other. I hope you will find yourselves stimulated, challenged, and most of all, given plenty of food for thought. I know from many years' experience that we can both enjoy ourselves and learn a great deal from one another if we all approach what we do here in a spirit of cooperation and curiosity.
This is my thirty-sixth year as a teacher. I’ve been teaching so long it’s not only what I do, it’s who I am. For me, “I am a teacher” is a statement of identity as much as profession. What I do here is a big part of my life, and I hope you will be able to treat both the work and me with respect.
As an English teacher, my goals for the year are several: I want to expose you to some challenging and important writers, I want to challenge you to think carefully about what things mean, about what it is to be a human being. I want to help you write with greater clarity and precision, and I want us to talk together, in ways that count for us all, about some of the biggest, most important questions—Who are we? Why are we here? What really matters?
In order to work on these goals together, we all need to make this room a place where people can say what they think and ask each other honest questions. We must listen courteously and respectfully to each other, keep an open mind, be willing to reconsider our first impressions, and accept the responsibility of contributing to the conversation.
I believe in the importance of rituals to mark the passages in our lives. Therefore, as you enter this room for your senior year, I shake each of your hands, welcome you by name, and read you this letter. I have a similar ceremony for the last day we spend together in May. I hope the days in between will be filled with learning and growth for us all. (434)
Welcome to my room and to that part of your senior year you will spend here. Although I know the room belongs to the school, its décor reflects my personality and since I set most of the agenda for what goes on here, the room feels like mine and I treat it as such. I hope you will too.
I’m looking forward to sharing my room with you this year. I hope we’ll learn a great deal from each other in the time we spend together here. We’ll talk about books, about writing, about ideas, about life, and about each other. I hope you will find yourselves stimulated, challenged, and most of all, given plenty of food for thought. I know from many years' experience that we can both enjoy ourselves and learn a great deal from one another if we all approach what we do here in a spirit of cooperation and curiosity.
This is my thirty-sixth year as a teacher. I’ve been teaching so long it’s not only what I do, it’s who I am. For me, “I am a teacher” is a statement of identity as much as profession. What I do here is a big part of my life, and I hope you will be able to treat both the work and me with respect.
As an English teacher, my goals for the year are several: I want to expose you to some challenging and important writers, I want to challenge you to think carefully about what things mean, about what it is to be a human being. I want to help you write with greater clarity and precision, and I want us to talk together, in ways that count for us all, about some of the biggest, most important questions—Who are we? Why are we here? What really matters?
In order to work on these goals together, we all need to make this room a place where people can say what they think and ask each other honest questions. We must listen courteously and respectfully to each other, keep an open mind, be willing to reconsider our first impressions, and accept the responsibility of contributing to the conversation.
I believe in the importance of rituals to mark the passages in our lives. Therefore, as you enter this room for your senior year, I shake each of your hands, welcome you by name, and read you this letter. I have a similar ceremony for the last day we spend together in May. I hope the days in between will be filled with learning and growth for us all. (434)
2.0 Writing Stronger Sentences
A. Here’s the problem:
The sentence is the basic unit of expression in English. Nothing is more important to the success of your writing than your ability to create accurate, clear, meaningful sentences. Unfortunately, to adapt a phrase from Jimmy Buffett, while the sentence should be treated like a temple, some of you treat it like a tent, not giving it the respect and consideration it deserves. You write bloated, vague, garbled, or even incoherent sentences, often without realizing that you have done so.
B. What to do:
Ken Macrorie says good writing is “clear, vigorous, honest, alive, sensuous, appropriate, unsentimental, rhythmic, without pretension, fresh, metaphorical, evocative in sound, economical, authoritative, surprising, memorable, and light.” While that’s a daunting list of virtues, I hope to show you specific ways to make your sentences stronger, cleaner, and less cluttered. The following series of exercises is designed to highlight the differences between strong and weak sentences by raising your awareness of a few of the bad habits writers fall into.
C. Chapter Outline:
2.1 Weak repetition
2.2 Parallel structure
2.3 Awkward phrasing
2.4 Abstract and concrete diction
2.5 Clarity
2.6 Simplicity
2.7 Clutter I: Unnecessary words
2.8 Clutter II: More practice
2.9 Clutter III: A demonstration
2.10 Clutter IV: Pruning my own prose
2.11 Subordination
The sentence is the basic unit of expression in English. Nothing is more important to the success of your writing than your ability to create accurate, clear, meaningful sentences. Unfortunately, to adapt a phrase from Jimmy Buffett, while the sentence should be treated like a temple, some of you treat it like a tent, not giving it the respect and consideration it deserves. You write bloated, vague, garbled, or even incoherent sentences, often without realizing that you have done so.
B. What to do:
Ken Macrorie says good writing is “clear, vigorous, honest, alive, sensuous, appropriate, unsentimental, rhythmic, without pretension, fresh, metaphorical, evocative in sound, economical, authoritative, surprising, memorable, and light.” While that’s a daunting list of virtues, I hope to show you specific ways to make your sentences stronger, cleaner, and less cluttered. The following series of exercises is designed to highlight the differences between strong and weak sentences by raising your awareness of a few of the bad habits writers fall into.
C. Chapter Outline:
2.1 Weak repetition
2.2 Parallel structure
2.3 Awkward phrasing
2.4 Abstract and concrete diction
2.5 Clarity
2.6 Simplicity
2.7 Clutter I: Unnecessary words
2.8 Clutter II: More practice
2.9 Clutter III: A demonstration
2.10 Clutter IV: Pruning my own prose
2.11 Subordination
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Motorcycle Macbeth
Those of us here in Scotland for Ms Keller's drama trip saw the most amazing play last night. It's official title was Macbeth: Who was that bloodied man? but I'm calling it the motorcycle Macbeth. It was performed by a Polish company who stripped the play almost completely of dialogue, condensed it to 60 minutes, and added some remarkably dramatic visual effects to bring out the central themes of the play.
For one thing, the soldiers at the beginning of the play all rode real motorcycles and fired machine guns and pistols as they simulated the opening battle scene. For another, some of the soldiers, and often the witches, were ten to twelve feet tall and walked on stilts around the stage. Not only were these stilt creatures dramatic in their movements, they also added to the eerie, supernatural aura which is so much a part of the play. Third, the play was done outdoors in the central quad of the Old College, with the audience standing. Finally there was fire and loud music used frequently for dramatic effect throughout the performance.
To condense the script, everything but the main plot was sacrificed. No Macduff, no Malcolm or Donalbain, very little dialogue (and what there was was spoken in a clear but definitely Polish-accented English). Just the battle scene, the murder of Duncan, the coronation, the murder of Banquo, the tormented consciences of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, and their deaths. For the final battle scene, six soldiers on stilts came on stage carrying torches and twelve-foot-tall wooden posts. They moved steadily toward the castle--a metal construction in the back of the staging area--carrying these posts, giving the visual effect of Birnam Wood advancing on High Dunsinane. When the reached the castle, they set it afire--that's why it had to be made of metal, so that only the parts they wanted to burn would do so--and looking through a metal screen into the castle, the audience could see "Macbeth" catch fire and burn to death as the play ended.
What the stilts and fire and lack of dialogue and stripping of all the subplot elements did, more than anything, I thought, was to create mood. The entire performance, especially the use of the three witches, whose faces were covered with white veils throughout, gave off a sinister aura of evil walking the face of the earth.
It was one of the most unusual and imaginative and effective stagings of Shakespeare I have ever seen. We all decided that you'd pretty much have to know the original play in order for some parts of it to make sense, but if you did, it was certainly a gripping theatrical experience.
Three cheers for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival!! (459)
For one thing, the soldiers at the beginning of the play all rode real motorcycles and fired machine guns and pistols as they simulated the opening battle scene. For another, some of the soldiers, and often the witches, were ten to twelve feet tall and walked on stilts around the stage. Not only were these stilt creatures dramatic in their movements, they also added to the eerie, supernatural aura which is so much a part of the play. Third, the play was done outdoors in the central quad of the Old College, with the audience standing. Finally there was fire and loud music used frequently for dramatic effect throughout the performance.
To condense the script, everything but the main plot was sacrificed. No Macduff, no Malcolm or Donalbain, very little dialogue (and what there was was spoken in a clear but definitely Polish-accented English). Just the battle scene, the murder of Duncan, the coronation, the murder of Banquo, the tormented consciences of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, and their deaths. For the final battle scene, six soldiers on stilts came on stage carrying torches and twelve-foot-tall wooden posts. They moved steadily toward the castle--a metal construction in the back of the staging area--carrying these posts, giving the visual effect of Birnam Wood advancing on High Dunsinane. When the reached the castle, they set it afire--that's why it had to be made of metal, so that only the parts they wanted to burn would do so--and looking through a metal screen into the castle, the audience could see "Macbeth" catch fire and burn to death as the play ended.
What the stilts and fire and lack of dialogue and stripping of all the subplot elements did, more than anything, I thought, was to create mood. The entire performance, especially the use of the three witches, whose faces were covered with white veils throughout, gave off a sinister aura of evil walking the face of the earth.
It was one of the most unusual and imaginative and effective stagings of Shakespeare I have ever seen. We all decided that you'd pretty much have to know the original play in order for some parts of it to make sense, but if you did, it was certainly a gripping theatrical experience.
Three cheers for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival!! (459)
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Summer Reading--The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Since yesterday I've been trying to figure out why Cormac McCarthy's The Road was such a remarkable reading experience. The setting of the novel—a post-apocalyptic world in which the few remaining survivors either live in terror of each other or treat others with unspeakable brutality—is one of the darkest, most terrifying premises I've ever encountered. The plot is almost nonexistent. A man and his son travel the road on foot, trying to go south to reach warmer weather and, for reasons never fully explained, to reach the sea. Along the way they search for enough food, clothing, and blankets to keep themselves alive as they continue their journey. These two are the only significant characters in the novel, and the few minor characters—a killer, a dying old man, and one or two others—appear only for a few paragraphs or brief scene. And the sadness and misery of an annihilated, ash-covered world, where all the trees and animals and most of the people are dead and where every human encounter is likely to lead to violence, makes the reading emotionally difficult. On the surface, it seems a totally depressing story.
Why, then, did the experience of reading this novel so completely captivate me? Why did I find myself re-reading some pages, slowing down to read others aloud to hear the characters voices more clearly? Why, on the third and last day of my reading, did I find myself deliberately taking reading breaks to let the feeling of the story envelop me a little longer before I finished it?
I think my answer lies in the relationship between the father and son in the story. Because McCarthy does a wonderful thing in this novel. He takes a harrowing story of physical survival and wraps it in another, even more powerful story, a story about perseverance, about hope in a hopeless world, and about a father and son's love for one another. While reading, I found myself asking why they go on, why they continue to search for a better place which they both know doesn't exist. And McCarthy's answer, implied repeatedly both in the dialogue between the two and in the father's private thoughts, is that each of them is the other's means of survival, both physically and emotionally. Without his father to feed and clothe him and keep him away from danger, the boy would be physically unable to go on. And without the boy to take care of, to give meaning and purpose to his otherwise futile, empty existence, the father would have no reason to continue. And so they go on together, constantly stopping to ask each other "how are you", to question their reasons for doing what they do, to reassure one another that everything is "okay," although, of course, it rarely is.
They succeed, I think. They maintain their belief that they are the "good guys," even when the father has to make painful decisions which upset the boy, they maintain their hope that some possible good can come out of their terrible predicament, and most of all, they continue to treat each other with remarkable tenderness and love and concern no matter the hardships they face. In a world which clearly can never come back to life, where everyone in it is doomed, it's that tenderness and love which give their existence the only meaning it can possibly have and which account for my feeling as a reader that I was under the spell of a remarkable book written by a gifted writer (591).
Why, then, did the experience of reading this novel so completely captivate me? Why did I find myself re-reading some pages, slowing down to read others aloud to hear the characters voices more clearly? Why, on the third and last day of my reading, did I find myself deliberately taking reading breaks to let the feeling of the story envelop me a little longer before I finished it?
I think my answer lies in the relationship between the father and son in the story. Because McCarthy does a wonderful thing in this novel. He takes a harrowing story of physical survival and wraps it in another, even more powerful story, a story about perseverance, about hope in a hopeless world, and about a father and son's love for one another. While reading, I found myself asking why they go on, why they continue to search for a better place which they both know doesn't exist. And McCarthy's answer, implied repeatedly both in the dialogue between the two and in the father's private thoughts, is that each of them is the other's means of survival, both physically and emotionally. Without his father to feed and clothe him and keep him away from danger, the boy would be physically unable to go on. And without the boy to take care of, to give meaning and purpose to his otherwise futile, empty existence, the father would have no reason to continue. And so they go on together, constantly stopping to ask each other "how are you", to question their reasons for doing what they do, to reassure one another that everything is "okay," although, of course, it rarely is.
They succeed, I think. They maintain their belief that they are the "good guys," even when the father has to make painful decisions which upset the boy, they maintain their hope that some possible good can come out of their terrible predicament, and most of all, they continue to treat each other with remarkable tenderness and love and concern no matter the hardships they face. In a world which clearly can never come back to life, where everyone in it is doomed, it's that tenderness and love which give their existence the only meaning it can possibly have and which account for my feeling as a reader that I was under the spell of a remarkable book written by a gifted writer (591).
2.1--Weak repetition
A. Here’s the problem:
When you’re drafting a paper, you’re simultaneously trying to decide what to say and find the right words. As a result, you are often unconscious of the fact that you’ve relied far too often on a single word, often one that’s rather too general to convey much specific meaning. Alas, when I read a passage that overuses a single word, the act of reading numbs my mind and certainly makes a less favorable impression on my grading lobe.
B. What to do:
Rethink the meaning of the passage in question. The simplest way is to replace the excessive uses of one word by substituting others. The danger is that the passage winds up sounding like a thesaurus exercise. A better method is to rewrite the sentences in question using more specific words, perhaps making the passage more economical as well as less repetitive.
C. Example: Lady Catherine enforces the rules of society when she is worried about her own social safety. Austen, by showing all of these, is saying that powerful people use society to their own benefit, and that individual people force others into complying with society more than society itself. Thus society proves to be all-powerful.
Improved Version: Lady Catherine snobbishly abuses social customs and rules of etiquette to maintain her own sense of superiority. Austen’s point is that some prominent people misuse their power selfishly, using their position to intimidate others and force them to comply to socially-prescribed behaviors for the wrong reasons.
D. Now you try—write an improved version of the following passage.
1. In comparison with the other female characters in the novel, Elizabeth’s character has a more independent personality and demonstrates a more modern outlook on life. Elizabeth is like no other woman in the book because she demonstrates a great strength of independence and individualism.
One of Elizabeth’s most noticeable features is her need for independence. Elizabeth’s independence is what some characters find to be most disgraceful and what others find to be very attractive. A perfect scene that shows the difference of opinion about her independence is the scene where Elizabeth goes to visit her ill sister.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following source:
Ken Macrorie, Writing to be Read (3rd ed.) pp. 75-79 is my favorite on this topic.
When you’re drafting a paper, you’re simultaneously trying to decide what to say and find the right words. As a result, you are often unconscious of the fact that you’ve relied far too often on a single word, often one that’s rather too general to convey much specific meaning. Alas, when I read a passage that overuses a single word, the act of reading numbs my mind and certainly makes a less favorable impression on my grading lobe.
B. What to do:
Rethink the meaning of the passage in question. The simplest way is to replace the excessive uses of one word by substituting others. The danger is that the passage winds up sounding like a thesaurus exercise. A better method is to rewrite the sentences in question using more specific words, perhaps making the passage more economical as well as less repetitive.
C. Example: Lady Catherine enforces the rules of society when she is worried about her own social safety. Austen, by showing all of these, is saying that powerful people use society to their own benefit, and that individual people force others into complying with society more than society itself. Thus society proves to be all-powerful.
Improved Version: Lady Catherine snobbishly abuses social customs and rules of etiquette to maintain her own sense of superiority. Austen’s point is that some prominent people misuse their power selfishly, using their position to intimidate others and force them to comply to socially-prescribed behaviors for the wrong reasons.
D. Now you try—write an improved version of the following passage.
1. In comparison with the other female characters in the novel, Elizabeth’s character has a more independent personality and demonstrates a more modern outlook on life. Elizabeth is like no other woman in the book because she demonstrates a great strength of independence and individualism.
One of Elizabeth’s most noticeable features is her need for independence. Elizabeth’s independence is what some characters find to be most disgraceful and what others find to be very attractive. A perfect scene that shows the difference of opinion about her independence is the scene where Elizabeth goes to visit her ill sister.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following source:
Ken Macrorie, Writing to be Read (3rd ed.) pp. 75-79 is my favorite on this topic.
2.2--Parallel Structure
A. Here’s the problem:
Sometimes you don’t apply what you’ve been taught about parallel structure in your sentences. You’re trying to explain a complex idea and occasionally get tangled up in your own words, forgetting to make the parts of your sentence connect to each other smoothly. As a result, your writing is harder to read, your ideas harder to follow, and your sentences lose their rhythm and their clear, natural voice.
B. What to do:
Read your sentences aloud during revision. Your ear is one of your best revision tools, but not enough of you think about how your sentences sound as well as what they say. Proper parallel structure is one way to make your sentences sound better. Since I read every essay trying to hear the sentences in my head as I read, good-sounding sentences make a stronger impression. Example: “Archer recognizes both the validity and the vacuity of the doomed elite to which he belongs, and can neither fully reconcile himself to the old values nor act decisively according to alternative ones.”
C. Example: This confusion of the heart started back when Lizzy first saw Darcy at a ball to the moment they agreed to be wed in Longbourne gardens.
Corrected Version: This confusion of the heart began when Lizzy first saw Darcy at a ball and ended the moment they agreed to be wed in Longbourne gardens.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Mr. Darcy was told what most other people thought of him, completely destroying everything that he considered to be proper and a compliment.
2. Not only does Mr. Darcy show his pride to Elizabeth, but also Lady Catherine, Darcy’s aunt, by bragging and threatening Elizabeth.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, pp. 26-28; also http://www.bartleby.com/141/
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/parallelism.htm
Sometimes you don’t apply what you’ve been taught about parallel structure in your sentences. You’re trying to explain a complex idea and occasionally get tangled up in your own words, forgetting to make the parts of your sentence connect to each other smoothly. As a result, your writing is harder to read, your ideas harder to follow, and your sentences lose their rhythm and their clear, natural voice.
B. What to do:
Read your sentences aloud during revision. Your ear is one of your best revision tools, but not enough of you think about how your sentences sound as well as what they say. Proper parallel structure is one way to make your sentences sound better. Since I read every essay trying to hear the sentences in my head as I read, good-sounding sentences make a stronger impression. Example: “Archer recognizes both the validity and the vacuity of the doomed elite to which he belongs, and can neither fully reconcile himself to the old values nor act decisively according to alternative ones.”
C. Example: This confusion of the heart started back when Lizzy first saw Darcy at a ball to the moment they agreed to be wed in Longbourne gardens.
Corrected Version: This confusion of the heart began when Lizzy first saw Darcy at a ball and ended the moment they agreed to be wed in Longbourne gardens.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Mr. Darcy was told what most other people thought of him, completely destroying everything that he considered to be proper and a compliment.
2. Not only does Mr. Darcy show his pride to Elizabeth, but also Lady Catherine, Darcy’s aunt, by bragging and threatening Elizabeth.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, pp. 26-28; also http://www.bartleby.com/141/
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/parallelism.htm
2.3--Awkward phrasing
A. Here’s the problem:
Readers don’t like to be confused. Some of you think the authors we study try to confuse you, but I’m not talking about the literary uses of ambiguity. I’m referring to expository prose; when you explain and support ideas, any awkwardly phrased sentence that prevents you from communicating those ideas clearly and accurately makes your writing less effective.
B. What to do:
Be more honest with your editing partners. Instead of saying only “it’s good” or nit-picking for the sake of criticizing, tell each other which sentences are worded in such a way that their meaning isn’t coming through. Also, as with other topics in this chapter, read each other’s sentences aloud to pick up awkward-sounding phrases and sentences.
C. Example: Elizabeth’s father is the strongest, quietest, and wisest in the book, of whom, Eliza takes after the most.
Corrected Version: Elizabeth’s father is the strongest, quietest, and wisest character in the book, the parent Eliza takes after the most.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Austen illustrates her attitude of the ability to free onself from the chains of conformity and custom.
2. This scene is ironic because seeing as how Lady Catherine is supposed to be a figure of high regard, she is acting far worse than someone of a lower status.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following source:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/confusion.htm (a good discussion of many sources of confusion and their remedies)
Readers don’t like to be confused. Some of you think the authors we study try to confuse you, but I’m not talking about the literary uses of ambiguity. I’m referring to expository prose; when you explain and support ideas, any awkwardly phrased sentence that prevents you from communicating those ideas clearly and accurately makes your writing less effective.
B. What to do:
Be more honest with your editing partners. Instead of saying only “it’s good” or nit-picking for the sake of criticizing, tell each other which sentences are worded in such a way that their meaning isn’t coming through. Also, as with other topics in this chapter, read each other’s sentences aloud to pick up awkward-sounding phrases and sentences.
C. Example: Elizabeth’s father is the strongest, quietest, and wisest in the book, of whom, Eliza takes after the most.
Corrected Version: Elizabeth’s father is the strongest, quietest, and wisest character in the book, the parent Eliza takes after the most.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Austen illustrates her attitude of the ability to free onself from the chains of conformity and custom.
2. This scene is ironic because seeing as how Lady Catherine is supposed to be a figure of high regard, she is acting far worse than someone of a lower status.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following source:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/confusion.htm (a good discussion of many sources of confusion and their remedies)
2.4--Abstract and Concrete Diction
A. Here’s the problem:
The words you choose have enormous impact on the quality of your writing. Relying on general, vague, or abstract words—especially nouns—makes your writing less specific and therefore less convincing. In more extreme cases, abstract words make your writing seem dishonest, as though you’re pretending to grand ideas and important statements when in fact you don’t quite know what you mean to say.
B. What to do:
Look at the section on vagueness and ambiguity in the link below. Make yourself aware of the difference between abstract (general) nouns and concrete (specific) nouns. In your writing, whenever you use an abstract noun, ask yourself if a more specific concrete noun could be substituted. The results are worth the effort.
C. Example: The dynamic nature of Darcy is interesting—his negative qualities are equaled only by his positive qualities.
Corrected Version: Darcy’s personality is complex, his pride and aloofness balanced by his intelligence and loyalty.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. The novel emphasizes the demanding expectations of society and how those expectations influence the characters’ personalities. The reader gains an understanding of the social world these characters live in and how it has impacted who they have become.
2. Lady Catherine’s antics express such an intellectual abstraction that they destroy the tenability of the superficial values altogether, thereby causing a reevaluation of the situation. (I defy you to decipher this writer’s meaning.)
3. This relationship furthers Citibank's efforts towards catalyzing the electronic bill payment space (this gem sent to me by a friend in the banking industry who’s also trying to figure out what it means).
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/tgeorges/write/les11.htm
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/abstract.htm
Strunk & White, pp. 21-23
The words you choose have enormous impact on the quality of your writing. Relying on general, vague, or abstract words—especially nouns—makes your writing less specific and therefore less convincing. In more extreme cases, abstract words make your writing seem dishonest, as though you’re pretending to grand ideas and important statements when in fact you don’t quite know what you mean to say.
B. What to do:
Look at the section on vagueness and ambiguity in the link below. Make yourself aware of the difference between abstract (general) nouns and concrete (specific) nouns. In your writing, whenever you use an abstract noun, ask yourself if a more specific concrete noun could be substituted. The results are worth the effort.
C. Example: The dynamic nature of Darcy is interesting—his negative qualities are equaled only by his positive qualities.
Corrected Version: Darcy’s personality is complex, his pride and aloofness balanced by his intelligence and loyalty.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. The novel emphasizes the demanding expectations of society and how those expectations influence the characters’ personalities. The reader gains an understanding of the social world these characters live in and how it has impacted who they have become.
2. Lady Catherine’s antics express such an intellectual abstraction that they destroy the tenability of the superficial values altogether, thereby causing a reevaluation of the situation. (I defy you to decipher this writer’s meaning.)
3. This relationship furthers Citibank's efforts towards catalyzing the electronic bill payment space (this gem sent to me by a friend in the banking industry who’s also trying to figure out what it means).
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/tgeorges/write/les11.htm
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/abstract.htm
Strunk & White, pp. 21-23
2.5--Clarity
A. Here’s the problem:
If there is one temple of writing at which I worship above all others, it is at the altar of clarity. My head hurts when I read sentences whose meanings aren’t clear, while my blood races just a little faster when I read sentences which ring in my mind as clear as bells. Think of it this way. The goal of good writing isn’t to write clearly enough to make your meaning understood; it’s to write so clearly that your meaning can’t be misunderstood. Strunk and White put the matter succinctly: “When you say something, make sure you have said it” (80).
B. What to do:
You must become the sworn enemy of confusion, ambiguity, and murk in your writing. You must root them out relentlessly and destroy them ruthlessly. Murk is an infectious disease; don’t let yourself catch it. Break longer sentences in two; replace gibberish with meaning; use more precise words; drag yourself out of the quicksand of unrestrained subordinate clauses.
C. Example: Mr. Bennet greatly respects Elizabeth’s views on love and marriage, rather than his wife, who is disappointed in her daughter’s lack of the traditional role of women and marriage.
Corrected Version: Mr. Bennet greatly respects Elizabeth’s views on love and marriage; Mrs. Bennet, on the other hand, is disappointed in her daughter’s disregard of the traditional role of women and marriage.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. She realized she was wrong about him and the irony of how she had treted him.
2. I do not know why Darcy would still be in love with Elizabeth after the rejection, because he loved her so much I hoped that Darcy would change his upper class ways.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following source:
Strunk & White, pp. 79-80
If there is one temple of writing at which I worship above all others, it is at the altar of clarity. My head hurts when I read sentences whose meanings aren’t clear, while my blood races just a little faster when I read sentences which ring in my mind as clear as bells. Think of it this way. The goal of good writing isn’t to write clearly enough to make your meaning understood; it’s to write so clearly that your meaning can’t be misunderstood. Strunk and White put the matter succinctly: “When you say something, make sure you have said it” (80).
B. What to do:
You must become the sworn enemy of confusion, ambiguity, and murk in your writing. You must root them out relentlessly and destroy them ruthlessly. Murk is an infectious disease; don’t let yourself catch it. Break longer sentences in two; replace gibberish with meaning; use more precise words; drag yourself out of the quicksand of unrestrained subordinate clauses.
C. Example: Mr. Bennet greatly respects Elizabeth’s views on love and marriage, rather than his wife, who is disappointed in her daughter’s lack of the traditional role of women and marriage.
Corrected Version: Mr. Bennet greatly respects Elizabeth’s views on love and marriage; Mrs. Bennet, on the other hand, is disappointed in her daughter’s disregard of the traditional role of women and marriage.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. She realized she was wrong about him and the irony of how she had treted him.
2. I do not know why Darcy would still be in love with Elizabeth after the rejection, because he loved her so much I hoped that Darcy would change his upper class ways.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following source:
Strunk & White, pp. 79-80
2.5.1--George Orwell's principles
It is better to put off using words as long as possible and get one’s meaning as clear as one can through pictures or sensations. Afterwards one can choose—not simply accept—the phrases that will best cover the meaning, and then switch round and decide what impression one’s words are likely to make on another person. This last effort of the mind cuts out all stale or mixed images, all prefabricated phrases, needless repetitions, and humbug and vagueness generally. But one can often be in doubt about the effect of a word or a phrase, and one needs rules that one can rely on when instinct fails. I think the following rules will cover most cases:
(i) Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
(ii) Never use a long word where a short one will do.
(iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
(iv) Never use the passive where you can use the active.
(v) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
(vi) Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
(i) Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
(ii) Never use a long word where a short one will do.
(iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
(iv) Never use the passive where you can use the active.
(v) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
(vi) Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
2.6--Simplify, simplify, simplify
A. Here’s the problem:
Thoreau’s maxim, “simplify, simplify, simplify” referred to how he thought humans could live more meaningful lives. But the same philosophy applies to writing, where simpler is generally better, at least in terms of style. Unfortunately, we sometimes get the notion that fancy words and unnecessarily complicated sentences are more impressive, more intellectual-sounding, than simple, straightforward assertions of ideas. They’re not.
B. What to do:
Strunk and White: “Rich, ornate prose is hard to digest, generally unwholesome, and sometimes nauseating” (72). Try to eliminate not only the pretentious and vague language we’ve looked at earlier but also the elaborate, convoluted sentences that obscure your meaning and make the reader’s job more difficult.
C. Example: Austen seems to feel her society may be foolish but it is generally harmless except for in this one instance it could have destroyed the Bennet family except for the fact that Darcy luckily saved them by convincing the two to get married and anything else people might have heard could be denied.
Corrected Version: Austen’s society may be foolish, but it is generally harmless. In one case, however, scandal could have destroyed the Bennet family; luckily, Darcy saved them by convincing Lydia and Wickham to marry. After that, anything people might have heard could be denied.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Newland’s wife, May Welland, is the perfect woman of the time as she may know Newland is in love with Ellen, but refuses to act on the content of her beliefs and instead steadily acts as an ignorant wife.
2. The third volume of the novel reconciles the antithesis of pride and prejudice through symbolic scenes that force a psychological change in the minds of the two protagonists—a change that overcomes conventional wisdom and affirms true human values that make Elizabeth and Darcy Platonic [sic] peers.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, pp. 72, 76-8
Zinsser, pp. 7-12
Thoreau’s maxim, “simplify, simplify, simplify” referred to how he thought humans could live more meaningful lives. But the same philosophy applies to writing, where simpler is generally better, at least in terms of style. Unfortunately, we sometimes get the notion that fancy words and unnecessarily complicated sentences are more impressive, more intellectual-sounding, than simple, straightforward assertions of ideas. They’re not.
B. What to do:
Strunk and White: “Rich, ornate prose is hard to digest, generally unwholesome, and sometimes nauseating” (72). Try to eliminate not only the pretentious and vague language we’ve looked at earlier but also the elaborate, convoluted sentences that obscure your meaning and make the reader’s job more difficult.
C. Example: Austen seems to feel her society may be foolish but it is generally harmless except for in this one instance it could have destroyed the Bennet family except for the fact that Darcy luckily saved them by convincing the two to get married and anything else people might have heard could be denied.
Corrected Version: Austen’s society may be foolish, but it is generally harmless. In one case, however, scandal could have destroyed the Bennet family; luckily, Darcy saved them by convincing Lydia and Wickham to marry. After that, anything people might have heard could be denied.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Newland’s wife, May Welland, is the perfect woman of the time as she may know Newland is in love with Ellen, but refuses to act on the content of her beliefs and instead steadily acts as an ignorant wife.
2. The third volume of the novel reconciles the antithesis of pride and prejudice through symbolic scenes that force a psychological change in the minds of the two protagonists—a change that overcomes conventional wisdom and affirms true human values that make Elizabeth and Darcy Platonic [sic] peers.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, pp. 72, 76-8
Zinsser, pp. 7-12
2.7--Clutter I: Verbiage gone wild
A. Here’s the problem:
This is one of my top three lessons for you to practice. Writers learning their craft waste words. It’s as simple as that. You fill sentence after sentence, paragraph after paragraph, with unnecessary verbiage. Sometimes you’re trying to camouflage the fact that you haven’t quite decided what you want to say. Sometimes you can’t quite find the best way to say what you mean. You’re surrounded by a culture that wastes words and obscures meanings. You’ve fallen into some bad habits that need to be rooted out like weeds in the garden.
B. What to do:
William Zinsser says, “the secret of good writing is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components.” This piece of advice means as much to me as anything I’ve ever learned about writing. Go through your sentences bracketing words that add no meaning. Remove who, which, that, and thing whenever possible. Turn verb phrases into simple, present tense verbs. Cut down on adjectives and adverbs. Once you cultivate the habit of pruning your prose, you’ll find many ways to improve your writing.
C. Example: [In] Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, [Jane Austen creates somewhat of a mockery] of 19th century customs,[ manners, and general lifestyle].
Corrected Version: Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice satirizes many nineteenth-century customs.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Jane Austen specifically focuses the majority of her novel on the issue of the consent of marriage.
2. Austen’s realism creates England to be portrayed as a place concerned with stature and wealth.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Zinsser, pp. 13-19
Strunk & White, pp. 23-25
This is one of my top three lessons for you to practice. Writers learning their craft waste words. It’s as simple as that. You fill sentence after sentence, paragraph after paragraph, with unnecessary verbiage. Sometimes you’re trying to camouflage the fact that you haven’t quite decided what you want to say. Sometimes you can’t quite find the best way to say what you mean. You’re surrounded by a culture that wastes words and obscures meanings. You’ve fallen into some bad habits that need to be rooted out like weeds in the garden.
B. What to do:
William Zinsser says, “the secret of good writing is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components.” This piece of advice means as much to me as anything I’ve ever learned about writing. Go through your sentences bracketing words that add no meaning. Remove who, which, that, and thing whenever possible. Turn verb phrases into simple, present tense verbs. Cut down on adjectives and adverbs. Once you cultivate the habit of pruning your prose, you’ll find many ways to improve your writing.
C. Example: [In] Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, [Jane Austen creates somewhat of a mockery] of 19th century customs,[ manners, and general lifestyle].
Corrected Version: Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice satirizes many nineteenth-century customs.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Jane Austen specifically focuses the majority of her novel on the issue of the consent of marriage.
2. Austen’s realism creates England to be portrayed as a place concerned with stature and wealth.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Zinsser, pp. 13-19
Strunk & White, pp. 23-25
2.8--Clutter II: More practice
A. Here’s the problem:
Once just isn’t enough. Clutter is such an insidious disease nearly everyone catches it. It’s a creeping blight that destroys whatever is true, original, thoughtful, or beautiful in our writing. So we have to follow the advice of the New York cabdriver, who, when asked by another driver stopped at a light, “how do I get to Carnegie Hall,” replied, “practice, practice, practice.”
B. What to do:
According to Strunk, “Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.” Keep looking for ways to eliminate the clutter in your sentences. You can’t do yourself any higher favors as a writer-in-training.
C. Example: At the top of the pyramid of social acceptability is one elite family, which in The Age of Innocence is the Van der Luydens.
Corrected Version: In The Age of Innocence, the Van der Luydens stand at the top of the social pyramid.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. The letter was the turning point in the novel, it was the point that would lead to all other emotions, it was pivotal.
2. Because Elizabeth was such a liberal-minded thinker, she was able to formulate her own personal belief system relating to what a marriage should be.
3. The novel, in essence, is able to accurately explore the nature of British society in the early nineteenth century by portraying a comedy in which the characters must overcome pre-judgment and discover the truth about one another while still remaining within their social and societal bounds.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Macrorie, pp. 34-40
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/concise.htm (excellent lists)
Once just isn’t enough. Clutter is such an insidious disease nearly everyone catches it. It’s a creeping blight that destroys whatever is true, original, thoughtful, or beautiful in our writing. So we have to follow the advice of the New York cabdriver, who, when asked by another driver stopped at a light, “how do I get to Carnegie Hall,” replied, “practice, practice, practice.”
B. What to do:
According to Strunk, “Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.” Keep looking for ways to eliminate the clutter in your sentences. You can’t do yourself any higher favors as a writer-in-training.
C. Example: At the top of the pyramid of social acceptability is one elite family, which in The Age of Innocence is the Van der Luydens.
Corrected Version: In The Age of Innocence, the Van der Luydens stand at the top of the social pyramid.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. The letter was the turning point in the novel, it was the point that would lead to all other emotions, it was pivotal.
2. Because Elizabeth was such a liberal-minded thinker, she was able to formulate her own personal belief system relating to what a marriage should be.
3. The novel, in essence, is able to accurately explore the nature of British society in the early nineteenth century by portraying a comedy in which the characters must overcome pre-judgment and discover the truth about one another while still remaining within their social and societal bounds.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Macrorie, pp. 34-40
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/concise.htm (excellent lists)
2.9--Clutter III: A demonstration
A. Here’s the problem:
The following passage, describing a family of deer taking water, contains some good images but is cluttered with unnecessary words.
B. What to do:
Use the technique of bracketing surplus verbiage to help create more concise writing.
Original Version:
The male is standing slightly behind the other two as if he were protecting them. His head held high in the air with his antlers looking like a giant maze on top of his head. He is amazing with his giant chest covered in snow-white fur adding a perfect contrast to his light brown body. In front of him is the female. Her head is held down as she gently sips the water from the crystal clear stream. She has a much smaller body, but her delicate look makes her beautiful in her own way. Next to her is another deer. Smaller in size appearing to be their young. It is a male deer because he has just started to grow some antlers himself. I see a smooth rock just to my left and take a seat as quietly as possible making sure not to disturb this serene moment in time. I look down to make sure that I do not step on a twig that has hidden itself in the tall, green grass.
Clutter bracketed:
The male [is standing] slightly behind the other two, [as if he were] protecting them, [H]is head held high [in the air] with [his] antlers [looking] like a giant maze on [top of his head]. He is amazing, [with] his giant chest covered in snow-white fur [adding] a perfect [contrast] to his light brown body. In front of him is the female[.] [H]er head [is held] down as she [gently] sips [the water] from the crystal clear stream. She has a much smaller body, [but] her delicate look [makes her] beautiful in [her] own way. Next to her is another deer[.] [S]maller in size [appearing to be] their young. [It is a] male, [deer because] he has just started to grow [some] antlers himself. I see a smooth rock [just] to my left and take a seat [as] quietly, [as possible] making sure not to disturb this serene moment [in time]. I look down to make sure [that] I do not step on a twig [that has] hidden [itself] in the tall, green grass.
Corrected Version:
The male stands slightly behind the other two, protecting them, his head held high with antlers like a giant maze. He is amazing, his giant chest covered in snow-white fur contrasting perfectly with his light brown body. In front of him is the female, her head down as she sips from the crystal clear stream. She has a much smaller body, her delicate look beautiful in its own way. Next to her is another deer, even smaller in size, apparently their young. A male, he has just started to grow antlers himself. I see a smooth rock to my left and take a seat quietly, making sure not to disturb this serene moment. I look down to make sure I do not step on a twig hidden in the tall, green grass.
The following passage, describing a family of deer taking water, contains some good images but is cluttered with unnecessary words.
B. What to do:
Use the technique of bracketing surplus verbiage to help create more concise writing.
Original Version:
The male is standing slightly behind the other two as if he were protecting them. His head held high in the air with his antlers looking like a giant maze on top of his head. He is amazing with his giant chest covered in snow-white fur adding a perfect contrast to his light brown body. In front of him is the female. Her head is held down as she gently sips the water from the crystal clear stream. She has a much smaller body, but her delicate look makes her beautiful in her own way. Next to her is another deer. Smaller in size appearing to be their young. It is a male deer because he has just started to grow some antlers himself. I see a smooth rock just to my left and take a seat as quietly as possible making sure not to disturb this serene moment in time. I look down to make sure that I do not step on a twig that has hidden itself in the tall, green grass.
Clutter bracketed:
The male [is standing] slightly behind the other two, [as if he were] protecting them, [H]is head held high [in the air] with [his] antlers [looking] like a giant maze on [top of his head]. He is amazing, [with] his giant chest covered in snow-white fur [adding] a perfect [contrast] to his light brown body. In front of him is the female[.] [H]er head [is held] down as she [gently] sips [the water] from the crystal clear stream. She has a much smaller body, [but] her delicate look [makes her] beautiful in [her] own way. Next to her is another deer[.] [S]maller in size [appearing to be] their young. [It is a] male, [deer because] he has just started to grow [some] antlers himself. I see a smooth rock [just] to my left and take a seat [as] quietly, [as possible] making sure not to disturb this serene moment [in time]. I look down to make sure [that] I do not step on a twig [that has] hidden [itself] in the tall, green grass.
Corrected Version:
The male stands slightly behind the other two, protecting them, his head held high with antlers like a giant maze. He is amazing, his giant chest covered in snow-white fur contrasting perfectly with his light brown body. In front of him is the female, her head down as she sips from the crystal clear stream. She has a much smaller body, her delicate look beautiful in its own way. Next to her is another deer, even smaller in size, apparently their young. A male, he has just started to grow antlers himself. I see a smooth rock to my left and take a seat quietly, making sure not to disturb this serene moment. I look down to make sure I do not step on a twig hidden in the tall, green grass.
2.10--Clutter IV: I Edit Myself
A. Here’s the problem:
Before I leave the topic of clutter, I want to make clear that writing cluttered prose isn’t a phase like bad skin or braces, something you’ll grow out of as you leave adolescence behind. It’s a problem you should deal with constantly, an awareness I hope you will carry with you the rest of your lives. Pruning my prose, weeding the surplus verbiage that can choke otherwise healthy sentences, is something I do to every sentence I write. And I always will.
B. What to do:
Here are some samples from this text, sentences I wrote then attempted to improve by trimming unnecessary words. My goal is always the same—to help the reader follow the path of my thoughts more easily by cutting back the jungle of unwanted growth. For each pair below, the first—O—is my original sentence, the second—R—the revised version as it appears in this text.
O. I want to provide both print and internet resources for all topics, so you can get further instruction in individual areas where you need additional work.
R. I will provide additional print and internet resources so you receive further instruction in individual areas.
O. . . .tell each other which sentences are worded in such a way that their meaning isn’t coming through.
R. . . .tell each other which sentences are poorly worded.
O. All these strategies take time, so they all require you to begin early and break your essay writing down into a process:
R. These strategies take time, so you must begin early and divide your work into stages:
O. . . . culled examples of these errors from papers I’ve collected over the years, and written a series of exercises designed to accomplish several goals.
R. . . . culled examples of these errors from papers I’ve collected, and designed a series of exercises to accomplish several goals.
O. No real emotion is ever openly expressed, merely hinted at indirectly so that it be understood and responded to without ever being acknowledged for what it is. As a result, this socially prescribed, highly symbolic behavior stifles the characters’ emotional lives, gradually turns them into dishonest people, and even strips them of their essential humanity.
R. No direct emotion is ever expressed, merely hinted at so it can be responded to without being acknowledged. As a result, this socially prescribed code stifles characters’ emotional lives, gradually makes them dishonest, and eventually strips them of their humanity.
Before I leave the topic of clutter, I want to make clear that writing cluttered prose isn’t a phase like bad skin or braces, something you’ll grow out of as you leave adolescence behind. It’s a problem you should deal with constantly, an awareness I hope you will carry with you the rest of your lives. Pruning my prose, weeding the surplus verbiage that can choke otherwise healthy sentences, is something I do to every sentence I write. And I always will.
B. What to do:
Here are some samples from this text, sentences I wrote then attempted to improve by trimming unnecessary words. My goal is always the same—to help the reader follow the path of my thoughts more easily by cutting back the jungle of unwanted growth. For each pair below, the first—O—is my original sentence, the second—R—the revised version as it appears in this text.
O. I want to provide both print and internet resources for all topics, so you can get further instruction in individual areas where you need additional work.
R. I will provide additional print and internet resources so you receive further instruction in individual areas.
O. . . .tell each other which sentences are worded in such a way that their meaning isn’t coming through.
R. . . .tell each other which sentences are poorly worded.
O. All these strategies take time, so they all require you to begin early and break your essay writing down into a process:
R. These strategies take time, so you must begin early and divide your work into stages:
O. . . . culled examples of these errors from papers I’ve collected over the years, and written a series of exercises designed to accomplish several goals.
R. . . . culled examples of these errors from papers I’ve collected, and designed a series of exercises to accomplish several goals.
O. No real emotion is ever openly expressed, merely hinted at indirectly so that it be understood and responded to without ever being acknowledged for what it is. As a result, this socially prescribed, highly symbolic behavior stifles the characters’ emotional lives, gradually turns them into dishonest people, and even strips them of their essential humanity.
R. No direct emotion is ever expressed, merely hinted at so it can be responded to without being acknowledged. As a result, this socially prescribed code stifles characters’ emotional lives, gradually makes them dishonest, and eventually strips them of their humanity.
2.11--The beauty, perfection, and symmetry of the subordinating conjunction!
A. Here’s the problem:
Beware—this is an advanced lesson and contains some technical grammar terms. But don’t be intimidated, since the basic idea isn’t that difficult. Not all the information or ideas in a sentence are of equal importance. But if the only conjunctions you use are and, but, and or, you fail to suggest the relative emphasis of the ideas you’re stating. Compound sentences are useful, just as simple sentences are, but at times you need to place emphasis where it belongs by subordinating one part of a sentence to another.
B. What to do:
Many of you overuse relative clauses—those beginning with who, which, and especially that—but don’t use enough subordinate adverbial clauses. The best way to solve the problem is to use an appropriate subordinating conjunction, either at the beginning of the sentence, at the end of the main clause, or between two sentences to combine them. You probably memorized these conjunctions once—although, since, because, if, unless, while, as, and others—but you need to train yourself to use the right one for the situation at hand.
C. Example: Austen is not as critical as Wharton. Austen shows that social conventions can interfere and get in the way of relationships.
Corrected Version: While Austen is not as critical as Wharton, she shows that social conventions can interfere with relationships.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Elizabeth reads Darcy’s letter of explanation, she retains a “strong prejudice against every thing he might say.”
2. She realizes that she may have been in the wrong and her sense of pride is replaced by “astonishment, apprehension, and even horror.”
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/conjunctions.htm#subordinating_conjunctions
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/clauses.htm
Beware—this is an advanced lesson and contains some technical grammar terms. But don’t be intimidated, since the basic idea isn’t that difficult. Not all the information or ideas in a sentence are of equal importance. But if the only conjunctions you use are and, but, and or, you fail to suggest the relative emphasis of the ideas you’re stating. Compound sentences are useful, just as simple sentences are, but at times you need to place emphasis where it belongs by subordinating one part of a sentence to another.
B. What to do:
Many of you overuse relative clauses—those beginning with who, which, and especially that—but don’t use enough subordinate adverbial clauses. The best way to solve the problem is to use an appropriate subordinating conjunction, either at the beginning of the sentence, at the end of the main clause, or between two sentences to combine them. You probably memorized these conjunctions once—although, since, because, if, unless, while, as, and others—but you need to train yourself to use the right one for the situation at hand.
C. Example: Austen is not as critical as Wharton. Austen shows that social conventions can interfere and get in the way of relationships.
Corrected Version: While Austen is not as critical as Wharton, she shows that social conventions can interfere with relationships.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Elizabeth reads Darcy’s letter of explanation, she retains a “strong prejudice against every thing he might say.”
2. She realizes that she may have been in the wrong and her sense of pride is replaced by “astonishment, apprehension, and even horror.”
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/conjunctions.htm#subordinating_conjunctions
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/clauses.htm
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
1.0--On Things Grammatical
A. Here’s the problem:
Those of you who attended ninth grade at PCDS received one of the most thorough groundings in English language, grammar, and usage known to Western civilization. You were drilled—even if at times that drill may have felt like a three-eighths inch cordless variable speed Black & Decker—in all the fundamentals and now, fortunately, you couldn’t forget them even if you tried. They’re with you the rest of your life.
That’s the good news. The bad news is that a few of you didn’t quite get it all stored in long-term memory the first time. Also, being seventeen-and-a-half and having many things besides English grammar on your minds, you get a little careless from time to time and forget to apply what you already know. Thus problems arise, since as an English teacher, my eyes are highly trained by thirty years of reading student essays. I find errors in grammar with a keenness of vision exceeded only by a hawk circling the sky searching for the field mouse which will be its mid-morning snack. I have about as much compassion as the hawk, too. In my system of values, no paper containing basic grammatical mistakes is eligible for a high grade.
B. What to do:
Train yourself to read your drafts with hawks’ eyes. Write the draft twenty-four hours before editing; you’ll have a better chance of seeing what it says rather than what you meant to say. Read it aloud, sentence by sentence, slowly, forcing yourself to slow down to a speed that lets you see what’s really there. Always trade drafts with a partner and help each other reduce the number of what the tennis players call unforced errors.
All these strategies take time, so they all require you to begin early and break your essay writing down into a process: draft, rest, edit for content, rest, edit for style, rest, proofread for mechanics, and if possible repeat the last five steps again. Many of you won’t always have or take the time to be so meticulous about your work, but learning what to look for and putting in the time are essential steps toward making yourself a better writer.
C. Chapter Outline
1.1 Subject-verb agreement
1.2 Verb tenses
1.3 Pronoun agreement
1.4 Vague pronouns
1.5 Possessive pronouns
1.6 Comma splices
1.7 Passive voice
1.8 Dashes
1.9 No excuses, no mercy
Those of you who attended ninth grade at PCDS received one of the most thorough groundings in English language, grammar, and usage known to Western civilization. You were drilled—even if at times that drill may have felt like a three-eighths inch cordless variable speed Black & Decker—in all the fundamentals and now, fortunately, you couldn’t forget them even if you tried. They’re with you the rest of your life.
That’s the good news. The bad news is that a few of you didn’t quite get it all stored in long-term memory the first time. Also, being seventeen-and-a-half and having many things besides English grammar on your minds, you get a little careless from time to time and forget to apply what you already know. Thus problems arise, since as an English teacher, my eyes are highly trained by thirty years of reading student essays. I find errors in grammar with a keenness of vision exceeded only by a hawk circling the sky searching for the field mouse which will be its mid-morning snack. I have about as much compassion as the hawk, too. In my system of values, no paper containing basic grammatical mistakes is eligible for a high grade.
B. What to do:
Train yourself to read your drafts with hawks’ eyes. Write the draft twenty-four hours before editing; you’ll have a better chance of seeing what it says rather than what you meant to say. Read it aloud, sentence by sentence, slowly, forcing yourself to slow down to a speed that lets you see what’s really there. Always trade drafts with a partner and help each other reduce the number of what the tennis players call unforced errors.
All these strategies take time, so they all require you to begin early and break your essay writing down into a process: draft, rest, edit for content, rest, edit for style, rest, proofread for mechanics, and if possible repeat the last five steps again. Many of you won’t always have or take the time to be so meticulous about your work, but learning what to look for and putting in the time are essential steps toward making yourself a better writer.
C. Chapter Outline
1.1 Subject-verb agreement
1.2 Verb tenses
1.3 Pronoun agreement
1.4 Vague pronouns
1.5 Possessive pronouns
1.6 Comma splices
1.7 Passive voice
1.8 Dashes
1.9 No excuses, no mercy
1.1--Subject-Verb Agreement
A. Here’s the problem:
You’ve been taught these rules a few dozen times, and you know they’re not that difficult, but sometimes you get careless. Either you forget to proofread carefully or, more often, your sentences contain compound subjects or phrases between the subject and verb that temporarily blind you to the real subject-verb agreement.
B. What to do:
As you revise your essays, look carefully at sentences to make certain whether the grammatical subject of each clause is singular or plural. More importantly, make sure you’re looking at the true subject, not a word in a prepositional phrase.
C. Example: Mr. Darcy’s pride and his aloof nature prevents him from meeting and understanding Elizabeth. . .
Corrected Version: Mr. Darcy’s pride and his aloof nature prevent him from meeting and understanding Elizabeth. . .
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Jane Austen’s novel, as well as her many others, have been and continue to be enjoyed by many.
2. Elizabeth’s response to Mr. Darcy and Lady Catherine are two of the best scenes in the novel because they illustrate her heroism.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/sv_agr.htm
Strunk & White, pp. 9-11 (available at http://www.bartleby.com/141/)
You’ve been taught these rules a few dozen times, and you know they’re not that difficult, but sometimes you get careless. Either you forget to proofread carefully or, more often, your sentences contain compound subjects or phrases between the subject and verb that temporarily blind you to the real subject-verb agreement.
B. What to do:
As you revise your essays, look carefully at sentences to make certain whether the grammatical subject of each clause is singular or plural. More importantly, make sure you’re looking at the true subject, not a word in a prepositional phrase.
C. Example: Mr. Darcy’s pride and his aloof nature prevents him from meeting and understanding Elizabeth. . .
Corrected Version: Mr. Darcy’s pride and his aloof nature prevent him from meeting and understanding Elizabeth. . .
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Jane Austen’s novel, as well as her many others, have been and continue to be enjoyed by many.
2. Elizabeth’s response to Mr. Darcy and Lady Catherine are two of the best scenes in the novel because they illustrate her heroism.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/sv_agr.htm
Strunk & White, pp. 9-11 (available at http://www.bartleby.com/141/)
1.2--Verb Tenses
A. Here’s the problem:
There are lots of ways you can run into problems with verb tenses, but there’s one I get particularly tired of marking: passages that flip-flop between present and past tenses with nary a hint of rhyme or reason. It’s mostly a sin of omission—the writer probably knows the difference between the two but forgets or simply doesn’t bother to check.
B. What to do:
Especially when writing about literature, pick a basic tense and stick with it. Either present or past will do, although I recommend present. Stick to your basic tense in your draft, then check for any inconsistencies during revision.
C. Example: When Elizabeth refused Darcy’s proposal, the reader feels she is right in doing so.
Corrected Version: When Elizabeth refuses Darcy’s proposal, the reader feels she is right in doing so.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Darcy was completely rude to Elizabeth; therefore, she and the rest of the neighborhood begin to dislike him.
2. Mrs. Reynolds described Darcy as “generous-hearted.” Elizabeth then encounters Mr. Darcy at his estate.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, pp. 31-32 (http://www.bartleby.com/141/ )
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/sequence.htm
There are lots of ways you can run into problems with verb tenses, but there’s one I get particularly tired of marking: passages that flip-flop between present and past tenses with nary a hint of rhyme or reason. It’s mostly a sin of omission—the writer probably knows the difference between the two but forgets or simply doesn’t bother to check.
B. What to do:
Especially when writing about literature, pick a basic tense and stick with it. Either present or past will do, although I recommend present. Stick to your basic tense in your draft, then check for any inconsistencies during revision.
C. Example: When Elizabeth refused Darcy’s proposal, the reader feels she is right in doing so.
Corrected Version: When Elizabeth refuses Darcy’s proposal, the reader feels she is right in doing so.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Darcy was completely rude to Elizabeth; therefore, she and the rest of the neighborhood begin to dislike him.
2. Mrs. Reynolds described Darcy as “generous-hearted.” Elizabeth then encounters Mr. Darcy at his estate.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, pp. 31-32 (http://www.bartleby.com/141/ )
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/sequence.htm
1.3--Pronouns I: Agreement
A. Here’s the problem:
It’s remarkably easy to be careless about pronoun-antecedent agreement, but few writing errors short of rampant sentence fragments or failure to spell-check are more revealing of a paper that was turned in without being carefully proofread. Those of you who aren’t detail people sometimes have the toughest time with this one.
B. What to do:
Check and double-check. Check with an editing partner. Make sure singular antecedents get singular pronouns. Same with plural. You know the rules; it’s just a matter of finding the mistakes and fixing them when you revise.
C. Example: Several marriages are presented in the novel, each with their own conflict and each with their own purpose.
Corrected Version: Several marriages are presented in the novel, each with its own conflict and each with its own purpose.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. When an author writes a novel, they labor over the right word to use to describe the person, place, situation, or thing in the novel.
2. Each of these marriages have their own ironies and each strongly contrast to the others.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following source:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/pronouns.htm
It’s remarkably easy to be careless about pronoun-antecedent agreement, but few writing errors short of rampant sentence fragments or failure to spell-check are more revealing of a paper that was turned in without being carefully proofread. Those of you who aren’t detail people sometimes have the toughest time with this one.
B. What to do:
Check and double-check. Check with an editing partner. Make sure singular antecedents get singular pronouns. Same with plural. You know the rules; it’s just a matter of finding the mistakes and fixing them when you revise.
C. Example: Several marriages are presented in the novel, each with their own conflict and each with their own purpose.
Corrected Version: Several marriages are presented in the novel, each with its own conflict and each with its own purpose.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. When an author writes a novel, they labor over the right word to use to describe the person, place, situation, or thing in the novel.
2. Each of these marriages have their own ironies and each strongly contrast to the others.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following source:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/pronouns.htm
1.4--Pronouns II (Vague)
A. Here’s the problem:
When you write about literature, you’re trying to come up with ideas, draw conclusions, say important things. Unfortunately, you sometimes cut corners, using demonstratives—this, that, these, and those—to refer to complete sentences or to ideas previously stated. This won’t do.
B. What to do:
Your writing will be more precise if you simply avoid using the four demonstratives as pronouns and either use them as adjectives or recast the sentence to eliminate them. They do have appropriate uses as pronouns—otherwise they wouldn’t be listed as such—but for our purposes they’re better off as adjectives or omitted altogether.
C. Example: Mr. Darcy is not as horrible as first expected. This is shown when he stands up for Elizabeth, commenting about her eyes.
Corrected Version: Mr. Darcy is not as horrible as first expected. We begin to like him when he stands up for Elizabeth, commenting about her eyes.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Elizabeth looks at the mind instead of the money. She demonstrates this particularly well in her conversation with Lady Catherine.
2. She stands firm in her belief, respecting people for intelligence rather than wealth; She earns my respect in doing this because . . .
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_pronuse.html
When you write about literature, you’re trying to come up with ideas, draw conclusions, say important things. Unfortunately, you sometimes cut corners, using demonstratives—this, that, these, and those—to refer to complete sentences or to ideas previously stated. This won’t do.
B. What to do:
Your writing will be more precise if you simply avoid using the four demonstratives as pronouns and either use them as adjectives or recast the sentence to eliminate them. They do have appropriate uses as pronouns—otherwise they wouldn’t be listed as such—but for our purposes they’re better off as adjectives or omitted altogether.
C. Example: Mr. Darcy is not as horrible as first expected. This is shown when he stands up for Elizabeth, commenting about her eyes.
Corrected Version: Mr. Darcy is not as horrible as first expected. We begin to like him when he stands up for Elizabeth, commenting about her eyes.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Elizabeth looks at the mind instead of the money. She demonstrates this particularly well in her conversation with Lady Catherine.
2. She stands firm in her belief, respecting people for intelligence rather than wealth; She earns my respect in doing this because . . .
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_pronuse.html
1.5--Pronouns III: Possessives
A. Here’s the problem:
Correct formation of possessive nouns—‘s for single possessive, s’ for plural possessive—stays in the no excuses, no mercy category. But two other possessive rules deserve quick mention here because they pop up like unwanted weeds in your writing.
B. What to do:
1. Its is a possessive pronoun, referring to some quality or property belonging to it; it’s is a contraction meaning “it is.” Possessive personal pronouns don’t take apostrophes; contractions do.
2. A pronoun before a gerund is in the possessive case.
C. Example: When Mr. Bingley spoke of his four to five thousand pounds a year, Mrs. Bennet thought of him marrying one of her daughters.
Corrected Version: When Mr. Bingley spoke of his four to five thousand pounds a year, Mrs. Bennet thought of his marrying one of her daughters.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Mother objected to us driving on the icy roads.
2. She understands how marriage was dictated by her setting and its idea that the union between a man and a woman existed primarily to better one’s status in life.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, p. 12 or http://www.bartleby.com/141/ http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/gerunds.htm#possessive
Correct formation of possessive nouns—‘s for single possessive, s’ for plural possessive—stays in the no excuses, no mercy category. But two other possessive rules deserve quick mention here because they pop up like unwanted weeds in your writing.
B. What to do:
1. Its is a possessive pronoun, referring to some quality or property belonging to it; it’s is a contraction meaning “it is.” Possessive personal pronouns don’t take apostrophes; contractions do.
2. A pronoun before a gerund is in the possessive case.
C. Example: When Mr. Bingley spoke of his four to five thousand pounds a year, Mrs. Bennet thought of him marrying one of her daughters.
Corrected Version: When Mr. Bingley spoke of his four to five thousand pounds a year, Mrs. Bennet thought of his marrying one of her daughters.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Mother objected to us driving on the icy roads.
2. She understands how marriage was dictated by her setting and its idea that the union between a man and a woman existed primarily to better one’s status in life.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, p. 12 or http://www.bartleby.com/141/ http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/gerunds.htm#possessive
1.6--Comma Splices
A. Here’s the problem:
You’ll find the run-on sentence in my list of “no excuses, no mercy” items at the end of this section. But the run-on has a first cousin—the comma splice—which is a constant thorn in my side when I’m correcting papers. Essentially the problem occurs whenever you fuse (“splice”) two independent clauses with only a comma. They’re much too common among high school writers, and my goal for this page is to take a giant step toward eradicating these writing demons.
B. What to do:
The problem has three basic solutions. If the two clauses are closely related in meaning and joined by a conjunctive adverb, replace the comma with a semicolon. Adding a subordinating or coordinating conjunction may also rescue you from the mire. More frequently, your writing will be clearer, cleaner, and more fluid if you separate the comma splice into two sentences.
C. Example: Because of his wealth, Mr. Collins finds himself to be a perfect match for any bachelorette, ironically, it is his pride that makes him unattractive to Elizabeth and the reader.
Corrected Version: Because of his wealth, Mr. Collins finds himself to be a perfect match for any bachelorette; ironically, it is his pride that makes him unattractive to Elizabeth and the reader.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Mr. Collins is absurd and his life seems a waste, he senselessly follows the orders of Lady Catherine.
2. Sadly, Elizabeth’s parents cannot agree with her decision, her mother will never see her again if she does not accept the marriage, while her father also will never see her again if she does marry Collins (see also section 2.1, concise sentences)
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_commaproof.html
You’ll find the run-on sentence in my list of “no excuses, no mercy” items at the end of this section. But the run-on has a first cousin—the comma splice—which is a constant thorn in my side when I’m correcting papers. Essentially the problem occurs whenever you fuse (“splice”) two independent clauses with only a comma. They’re much too common among high school writers, and my goal for this page is to take a giant step toward eradicating these writing demons.
B. What to do:
The problem has three basic solutions. If the two clauses are closely related in meaning and joined by a conjunctive adverb, replace the comma with a semicolon. Adding a subordinating or coordinating conjunction may also rescue you from the mire. More frequently, your writing will be clearer, cleaner, and more fluid if you separate the comma splice into two sentences.
C. Example: Because of his wealth, Mr. Collins finds himself to be a perfect match for any bachelorette, ironically, it is his pride that makes him unattractive to Elizabeth and the reader.
Corrected Version: Because of his wealth, Mr. Collins finds himself to be a perfect match for any bachelorette; ironically, it is his pride that makes him unattractive to Elizabeth and the reader.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Mr. Collins is absurd and his life seems a waste, he senselessly follows the orders of Lady Catherine.
2. Sadly, Elizabeth’s parents cannot agree with her decision, her mother will never see her again if she does not accept the marriage, while her father also will never see her again if she does marry Collins (see also section 2.1, concise sentences)
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_commaproof.html
1.7--Passive Voice
A. Here’s the problem:
Where do I start? Passive voice is weaker than active, it clouds the issue of exactly who is performing the action of the verb, it’s used by people who want to be deliberately vague or evade responsibility—“mistakes were made”—and most of the time it sounds awkward. It is used legitimately only when the origin of the action is unknown or when a writer wishes to deliberately shift emphasis (e.g. in “The Hawaiian Islands were first visited by Captain Cook,” the focus is on the islands’ history).
B. What to do:
Ninety-eight percent of the time, simply rewrite the sentence in the active voice.
C. Example: The letter that was written by Darcy and given to Elizabeth the next day explained all his supposed cruelties and showed him in a better light.
Corrected Version: Darcy wrote a letter and gave it to Elizabeth the next day, explaining all his supposed cruelties and showing himself in a better light.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Much time was spent together and Darcy’s love grew, he was infatuated.
2. But I still had my faith that this love would arise and happiness would be instilled.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/passive.htm (includes a quiz)
Strunk & White, pp. 18-19 (http://www.bartleby.com/141/ )
Where do I start? Passive voice is weaker than active, it clouds the issue of exactly who is performing the action of the verb, it’s used by people who want to be deliberately vague or evade responsibility—“mistakes were made”—and most of the time it sounds awkward. It is used legitimately only when the origin of the action is unknown or when a writer wishes to deliberately shift emphasis (e.g. in “The Hawaiian Islands were first visited by Captain Cook,” the focus is on the islands’ history).
B. What to do:
Ninety-eight percent of the time, simply rewrite the sentence in the active voice.
C. Example: The letter that was written by Darcy and given to Elizabeth the next day explained all his supposed cruelties and showed him in a better light.
Corrected Version: Darcy wrote a letter and gave it to Elizabeth the next day, explaining all his supposed cruelties and showing himself in a better light.
D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Much time was spent together and Darcy’s love grew, he was infatuated.
2. But I still had my faith that this love would arise and happiness would be instilled.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/passive.htm (includes a quiz)
Strunk & White, pp. 18-19 (http://www.bartleby.com/141/ )
1.8--Dashes
A. Here’s the problem:
Dashes are without doubt my favorite marks of punctuation—they’re remarkably versative and allow me to insert one thought inside another—but few of you have any clue how to use them.
B. What to do:
I quote Strunk & White (9): “Use a dash to set off an abrupt break or interruption, and to announce a long appositive or summary. A dash is. . . stronger than a comma, less formal than a colon, and more relaxed than parentheses.” (N.B. To make a dash, type option-shift-hyphen with no spaces before or after.)
C. Example: Wharton’s New York is a place where pretending to be a model of rectitude (i.e. Lawrence Lefferts, etc) gives one the power to condemn.
Corrected Version: Wharton’s New York is a place where pretending to be a model of rectitude—Lawrence Lefferts is one example—gives one the power to condemn.
D. Now you try—write a corrected version of the following sentence.
1. Darcy’s love for Elizabeth despite her lower standing illuminates another part of Darcy’s character; his desire for a companion of both equality and beauty, regardless of wealth.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, p. 9 (http://www.bartleby.com/141/ )
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/dash.htm
F. Finally, here are two all-too-infrequent uses of dashes from students’ papers.
1. Darcy is the last person she would consider marrying, but her response is—to modern sensibilities, at least—relatively mild.
2. Archer’s last decision—to hold his relationship with Ellen only as a memory—is perhaps Wharton’s final comment on the power of his world.
Dashes are without doubt my favorite marks of punctuation—they’re remarkably versative and allow me to insert one thought inside another—but few of you have any clue how to use them.
B. What to do:
I quote Strunk & White (9): “Use a dash to set off an abrupt break or interruption, and to announce a long appositive or summary. A dash is. . . stronger than a comma, less formal than a colon, and more relaxed than parentheses.” (N.B. To make a dash, type option-shift-hyphen with no spaces before or after.)
C. Example: Wharton’s New York is a place where pretending to be a model of rectitude (i.e. Lawrence Lefferts, etc) gives one the power to condemn.
Corrected Version: Wharton’s New York is a place where pretending to be a model of rectitude—Lawrence Lefferts is one example—gives one the power to condemn.
D. Now you try—write a corrected version of the following sentence.
1. Darcy’s love for Elizabeth despite her lower standing illuminates another part of Darcy’s character; his desire for a companion of both equality and beauty, regardless of wealth.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, p. 9 (http://www.bartleby.com/141/ )
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/dash.htm
F. Finally, here are two all-too-infrequent uses of dashes from students’ papers.
1. Darcy is the last person she would consider marrying, but her response is—to modern sensibilities, at least—relatively mild.
2. Archer’s last decision—to hold his relationship with Ellen only as a memory—is perhaps Wharton’s final comment on the power of his world.
1.9--No Excuses, No Mercy
A. Here’s the problem:
The thought of a high school senior carelessly making errors a conscientious fifth grader would be ashamed of appalls me. Either the writer is too lazy to find and correct these mistakes in revision or has difficulty with attention to detail and simply doesn’t see the mistake. The more of these basic errors I mark, the more I clench my teeth, narrow my eyes, and resolve to make the writer pay for my annoyance—and my headache—when I get around to assigning the essay a grade.
B. What to do:
Don’t let it happen to you. Revise your essays once for content and once for style, and make proofreading a completely separate step. If you genuinely can’t do a good job finding proofreading errors, work with a partner who’s better at it than you are. Or check your essay sentence by sentence starting at the end. A partial list of total no-no’s includes at least the following:
-- Failure to spell check
-- Sentence fragments and run-ons
-- Ignoring basic comma rules (compounds sentences, series, etc)
-- To/too, then/than, their/there/they’re, who’s/whose, your/you’re, affect/effect etc.
-- Writing things that simply don’t make sense
C. Examples (PCDS seniors wrote these sentences; I swear I’m not making this up):
-- Mrs. Bennet wanted her daughters married well so that there future would be better then it was going to be.
-- Elizabeth had two other men, William Collins and George Wickham, in her life and still succeed in being single and marring Darcy.
-- The only ill affected people are Lydia who pretty much deserved what she got and Charlotte Lucas who at least seems to be coping with her marriage to Mr. Collins.
-- Its message is no less powerful then that of the other novel.
-- Mr. Bennet is not only one of the most humorous characters in the book but is also a stalk character.
-- Yet, of all the different scenes that take place, it is perhaps the people who are most the inner-most parts of Jane Austin’s mind.
-- Elizabeth does not directly ask Darcy weather Wickham’s allegations were true.
-- The way that none of the ridiculous characters in Pride and Prejudice are aware of their own absurdity.
-- Such social gatherings as these present times when new characters are introduced and the first impressions, which are so very important to this novel, are made.
The thought of a high school senior carelessly making errors a conscientious fifth grader would be ashamed of appalls me. Either the writer is too lazy to find and correct these mistakes in revision or has difficulty with attention to detail and simply doesn’t see the mistake. The more of these basic errors I mark, the more I clench my teeth, narrow my eyes, and resolve to make the writer pay for my annoyance—and my headache—when I get around to assigning the essay a grade.
B. What to do:
Don’t let it happen to you. Revise your essays once for content and once for style, and make proofreading a completely separate step. If you genuinely can’t do a good job finding proofreading errors, work with a partner who’s better at it than you are. Or check your essay sentence by sentence starting at the end. A partial list of total no-no’s includes at least the following:
-- Failure to spell check
-- Sentence fragments and run-ons
-- Ignoring basic comma rules (compounds sentences, series, etc)
-- To/too, then/than, their/there/they’re, who’s/whose, your/you’re, affect/effect etc.
-- Writing things that simply don’t make sense
C. Examples (PCDS seniors wrote these sentences; I swear I’m not making this up):
-- Mrs. Bennet wanted her daughters married well so that there future would be better then it was going to be.
-- Elizabeth had two other men, William Collins and George Wickham, in her life and still succeed in being single and marring Darcy.
-- The only ill affected people are Lydia who pretty much deserved what she got and Charlotte Lucas who at least seems to be coping with her marriage to Mr. Collins.
-- Its message is no less powerful then that of the other novel.
-- Mr. Bennet is not only one of the most humorous characters in the book but is also a stalk character.
-- Yet, of all the different scenes that take place, it is perhaps the people who are most the inner-most parts of Jane Austin’s mind.
-- Elizabeth does not directly ask Darcy weather Wickham’s allegations were true.
-- The way that none of the ridiculous characters in Pride and Prejudice are aware of their own absurdity.
-- Such social gatherings as these present times when new characters are introduced and the first impressions, which are so very important to this novel, are made.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Your class blog
The primary forum for written work is your blog. You are required to post weekly blog entries relating to the literature studied in the classroom. Your blogs will receive a grade, accounting for 30% of each quarter’s grade. Blogs should be as long as they need to be to say what you have to say about some aspect of that week's reading, but a good guideline is 500 words, more if you discover you have a lot to say on a topic. I will not, however, grade primarily by length; rather, quantity will be the least important of four criteria, after regularity of entries, style, and, most importantly, originality of content. Instructions about creating and posting blog entries may be found on my blog at mrcoonsenglish.blogspot.com.
Occasionally I will ask you to respond to particular prompts or questions on my blog, but often there is no set topic for your weekly entries. Rather, I ask you to find an element of the assigned reading that interests you and discuss it thoughtfully. This comment may take many forms, a few of which are suggested here:
• Discuss a character’s actions, words, personality, moral values, or humanity.
• Comment on the writer’s style, use of language, tone, irony, or imagery.
• Consider a topic or idea raised in class discussion, trying to go beyond what has already been stated.
• Raise and discuss a question about the text under consideration.
• Discuss the importance or meaning of a key passage or scene from the reading.
• For longer works, show how a scene or passage develops a theme or pattern identified in class.
• Make a comparison between a scene, character, or idea from the literature and something from another source or from your own experience
• Use an idea from my blog or from that of one of your classmates as a point of departure for your response.
• Locate relevant research material on the web, post a link to the site on your blog, and discuss your choice.
In all cases, your goals are to demonstrate close, careful reading of assigned texts, challenge yourself to creative, original thinking, write in an honest, authentic voice, and develop your fluency as a writer. Several times each semester, I will ask you to revise a blog entry, either expanding it, making its content more specific, or improving its focus, style, or organization. These revised entries will be submitted to me as hard copies and graded separately from your blogs as papers. Your papers will account for another 30% of your grade (419).
Occasionally I will ask you to respond to particular prompts or questions on my blog, but often there is no set topic for your weekly entries. Rather, I ask you to find an element of the assigned reading that interests you and discuss it thoughtfully. This comment may take many forms, a few of which are suggested here:
• Discuss a character’s actions, words, personality, moral values, or humanity.
• Comment on the writer’s style, use of language, tone, irony, or imagery.
• Consider a topic or idea raised in class discussion, trying to go beyond what has already been stated.
• Raise and discuss a question about the text under consideration.
• Discuss the importance or meaning of a key passage or scene from the reading.
• For longer works, show how a scene or passage develops a theme or pattern identified in class.
• Make a comparison between a scene, character, or idea from the literature and something from another source or from your own experience
• Use an idea from my blog or from that of one of your classmates as a point of departure for your response.
• Locate relevant research material on the web, post a link to the site on your blog, and discuss your choice.
In all cases, your goals are to demonstrate close, careful reading of assigned texts, challenge yourself to creative, original thinking, write in an honest, authentic voice, and develop your fluency as a writer. Several times each semester, I will ask you to revise a blog entry, either expanding it, making its content more specific, or improving its focus, style, or organization. These revised entries will be submitted to me as hard copies and graded separately from your blogs as papers. Your papers will account for another 30% of your grade (419).
Sunday, July 8, 2007
How are writing and playing music similar?
"Whether in music or in fiction, the most basic thing is rhythm. Your style needs to have good, natural, steady rhythm, or people won’t keep reading your work. I learned the importance of rhythm from music — and mainly from jazz. Next comes melody — which, in literature, means the appropriate arrangement of the words to match the rhythm. If the way the words fit the rhythm is smooth and beautiful, you can’t ask for anything more. Next is harmony — the internal mental sounds that support the words. Then comes the part I like best: free improvisation. Through some special channel, the story comes welling out freely from inside. All I have to do is get into the flow. Finally comes what may be the most important thing: that high you experience upon completing a work — upon ending your “performance” and feeling you have succeeded in reaching a place that is new and meaningful. And if all goes well, you get to share that sense of elevation with your readers (your audience). That is a marvelous culmination that can be achieved in no other way."
--Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami. Read the entire essay in the New York Times Book Review
--Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami. Read the entire essay in the New York Times Book Review
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Reading and Re-reading
I read a lot of books every year. Always have, always will. Books for pleasure, books for school, audio books in the car on the way to and from Greer. I keep a list of the books I read. Novels, plays, non-fiction--everything book length. I don't count the short stories, poetry, magazine and newspaper articles--just the books.
In 2006 I counted forty-eight books: twenty-two books on tape, sixteen new books in print, and ten re-reads (most of those for school). The biggest difference for me is that the books I read for the first time are mostly read in the spirit of discovery. I'm always looking for the pleasure of an entertaining story, compelling characters, and scenes that evoke in me strong feelings. On the other hand, when I read a book I've read before, I'm looking for different things. I want to see how the story is put together, how the threads are connected, how individual passages stand out and carry the weight of meaning. I look for ideas and feelings I hadn't noticed before. I move from a casual acquaintance with the book to the level of friendship and deeper knowledge.
I was checking out some blogs the other day and found one that struck a chord with me on the subject of re-reading, so I wanted to share it with you. The blog is by Scott Esposito, and the quote is from one of his correspondents named Dan Green.
The relevance to English class, I think, is something like this: when you read a new piece of literature, you are doing the initial reading, and when you post a weekly blog entry and we come together in class to talk about your responses and look more closely at the text and at the different ways you found of responding to it, we're doing some of the work of re-reading. It's not entirely the same experience, but it's an approximation.
Over the course of my next several entries, I'll be re-reading some of the recommended books on my summer list and posting brief entries on why I chose each and what I noticed when I re-read it.
In 2006 I counted forty-eight books: twenty-two books on tape, sixteen new books in print, and ten re-reads (most of those for school). The biggest difference for me is that the books I read for the first time are mostly read in the spirit of discovery. I'm always looking for the pleasure of an entertaining story, compelling characters, and scenes that evoke in me strong feelings. On the other hand, when I read a book I've read before, I'm looking for different things. I want to see how the story is put together, how the threads are connected, how individual passages stand out and carry the weight of meaning. I look for ideas and feelings I hadn't noticed before. I move from a casual acquaintance with the book to the level of friendship and deeper knowledge.
I was checking out some blogs the other day and found one that struck a chord with me on the subject of re-reading, so I wanted to share it with you. The blog is by Scott Esposito, and the quote is from one of his correspondents named Dan Green.
The relevance to English class, I think, is something like this: when you read a new piece of literature, you are doing the initial reading, and when you post a weekly blog entry and we come together in class to talk about your responses and look more closely at the text and at the different ways you found of responding to it, we're doing some of the work of re-reading. It's not entirely the same experience, but it's an approximation.
Over the course of my next several entries, I'll be re-reading some of the recommended books on my summer list and posting brief entries on why I chose each and what I noticed when I re-read it.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Style Notes on the comma
The Night Inspector—style notes
June 2, 2007
I’m almost finished with Frederick Busch’s The Night Inspector, a novel I heard good things about, both from reviews and from Mr. Martin (I think it’s on his ID book list). It’s a very dark, very well written novel, focusing on two scarred and damaged characters. One was a marksman—read sniper—badly wounded during the Civil War, while the other is Herman Melville, one of the great novelists in American literary history, who, unfortunately, did not receive much critical or popular support during his lifetime and therefore became embittered, often viewing himself as a failure.
But what I noticed in a passage I just read, is a style note I want to pass along. I think the writer wants his style to sound authentically 19th century; to do so, he uses long sentences characteristic of the period. But to keep the parts of those sentences clear in relation to each other, and to allow for both narration of action and mental reflection on those actions in the same sentence, he uses punctuation, specifically commas, to give a precise rhythm to his sentences (as perhaps I just did with this sentence).
Here are two samples; the main characters are in a small boat on the Hudson River, at night, pursuing another boat up the coastline of Manhattan. “M” in the second passage is Herman Melville.
1. But even at some proximity to the shore, and so far downtown, passing the ships at anchor, and the pleasure craft upon which the wealthy pass their nights in pleasures and to which the likes of us might not have pretended, we all, I think, experienced the power of the deep, swift river, and the fear that cannot help but reside, awaiting travelers, in that dark water. (10 commas, 67 words)
2. And, standing before us, one foot before the gunwale, the tiller in one hand while the other seized the gaff hook on its long pole, planted, for balance, against the ribbed flooring of the boat, his oilskins open and glinting in what light we passed or was thrown forward by the lantern, M, in his closed and bearded face, staring forward, over us and over Sam, toward the distant, retreating chimney that spouted gouts of fire and threw up sparks and made the sound of a railroad locomotive roaring away with a considerable portion of our dignity and hope. (13 commas, 99 words)
I particularly like the second passage, both because of the way the short phrases at the beginning of the sentence paint a precise, detailed picture of Melville standing in the pursuit boat and because of the way the sentence ends with the longer phrase describing the boat being pursued, completely changing the rhythm of the sentence by using action verbs and participles like “retreating,” “spouted, “ threw,” made,” and “roaring,” tied together with the conjunction “and” rather than commas.
In fact, I'm wondering how the rhythms of that sentence would work if I arranged it on the page in the form of a short poem:
And, standing before us, one foot before the gunwale,
the tiller in one hand while the other
seized the gaff hook on its long pole,
planted, for balance, against the ribbed flooring of the boat,
his oilskins open and glinting in what light we passed
or was thrown forward by the lantern,
M, in his closed and bearded face, staring forward,
over us and over Sam, toward the distant, retreating chimney
that spouted gouts of fire and threw up sparks
and made the sound of a railroad locomotive
roaring away with a considerable portion of our dignity and hope.
It's an interesting way to look at the sentence, because it emphasizes some of the images, especially the verbs, and also highlights the metaphor of the locomotive sound at the end.
I’m not advocating that you write 80- or 100-word sentences. But I am suggesting that you punctuate by more than rule when you write. The basics still apply: commas in series, commas after a long introductory clause or phrase, commas between the clauses in a compound sentences, commas after words like well, yes, no, and the names of people being spoken to in direct address. But read your sentences aloud and use good, strong, punctuation to create detail, tension, and rhythm in your sentences.
June 2, 2007
I’m almost finished with Frederick Busch’s The Night Inspector, a novel I heard good things about, both from reviews and from Mr. Martin (I think it’s on his ID book list). It’s a very dark, very well written novel, focusing on two scarred and damaged characters. One was a marksman—read sniper—badly wounded during the Civil War, while the other is Herman Melville, one of the great novelists in American literary history, who, unfortunately, did not receive much critical or popular support during his lifetime and therefore became embittered, often viewing himself as a failure.
But what I noticed in a passage I just read, is a style note I want to pass along. I think the writer wants his style to sound authentically 19th century; to do so, he uses long sentences characteristic of the period. But to keep the parts of those sentences clear in relation to each other, and to allow for both narration of action and mental reflection on those actions in the same sentence, he uses punctuation, specifically commas, to give a precise rhythm to his sentences (as perhaps I just did with this sentence).
Here are two samples; the main characters are in a small boat on the Hudson River, at night, pursuing another boat up the coastline of Manhattan. “M” in the second passage is Herman Melville.
1. But even at some proximity to the shore, and so far downtown, passing the ships at anchor, and the pleasure craft upon which the wealthy pass their nights in pleasures and to which the likes of us might not have pretended, we all, I think, experienced the power of the deep, swift river, and the fear that cannot help but reside, awaiting travelers, in that dark water. (10 commas, 67 words)
2. And, standing before us, one foot before the gunwale, the tiller in one hand while the other seized the gaff hook on its long pole, planted, for balance, against the ribbed flooring of the boat, his oilskins open and glinting in what light we passed or was thrown forward by the lantern, M, in his closed and bearded face, staring forward, over us and over Sam, toward the distant, retreating chimney that spouted gouts of fire and threw up sparks and made the sound of a railroad locomotive roaring away with a considerable portion of our dignity and hope. (13 commas, 99 words)
I particularly like the second passage, both because of the way the short phrases at the beginning of the sentence paint a precise, detailed picture of Melville standing in the pursuit boat and because of the way the sentence ends with the longer phrase describing the boat being pursued, completely changing the rhythm of the sentence by using action verbs and participles like “retreating,” “spouted, “ threw,” made,” and “roaring,” tied together with the conjunction “and” rather than commas.
In fact, I'm wondering how the rhythms of that sentence would work if I arranged it on the page in the form of a short poem:
And, standing before us, one foot before the gunwale,
the tiller in one hand while the other
seized the gaff hook on its long pole,
planted, for balance, against the ribbed flooring of the boat,
his oilskins open and glinting in what light we passed
or was thrown forward by the lantern,
M, in his closed and bearded face, staring forward,
over us and over Sam, toward the distant, retreating chimney
that spouted gouts of fire and threw up sparks
and made the sound of a railroad locomotive
roaring away with a considerable portion of our dignity and hope.
It's an interesting way to look at the sentence, because it emphasizes some of the images, especially the verbs, and also highlights the metaphor of the locomotive sound at the end.
I’m not advocating that you write 80- or 100-word sentences. But I am suggesting that you punctuate by more than rule when you write. The basics still apply: commas in series, commas after a long introductory clause or phrase, commas between the clauses in a compound sentences, commas after words like well, yes, no, and the names of people being spoken to in direct address. But read your sentences aloud and use good, strong, punctuation to create detail, tension, and rhythm in your sentences.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Shakespeare's Kern River soliloquy
To sleep or not to sleep, that is the problem.
Whether 'tis nobler in the tents to suffer
The slings and bellows of outrageous chaperones
Or to take rest against a sea of troubles
And by ignoring end them.
To sleep, perchance to dream,
'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.
But in that sleep what breakfasts may be missed
When we have shuffled off our wake-up calls,
Must give us pause, and makes us rather bear
Those forty winks we lose, than fly to hunger pangs
We know not of. Thus mealtime doth make
Cowards of us all, and thus the native
Resolution to sleep in gets sicklied o'er
With the pale cast of food.
(compare to the real deal Hamlet's soliloquy)
Whether 'tis nobler in the tents to suffer
The slings and bellows of outrageous chaperones
Or to take rest against a sea of troubles
And by ignoring end them.
To sleep, perchance to dream,
'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.
But in that sleep what breakfasts may be missed
When we have shuffled off our wake-up calls,
Must give us pause, and makes us rather bear
Those forty winks we lose, than fly to hunger pangs
We know not of. Thus mealtime doth make
Cowards of us all, and thus the native
Resolution to sleep in gets sicklied o'er
With the pale cast of food.
(compare to the real deal Hamlet's soliloquy)
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Awards Day 2007
We are all gifted. I don't necessarily mean this statement in the Garrison Keillor, Lake Woebegone tradition, in which the women are strong, the men are good looking, and the children all above average, although looking out at this distinguished assembly I don't think he’s far wrong. But when I say we are all gifted, I mean it in the sense that all of us have been blessed, by birth, by innate talent, by the circumstances of our lives, and by the words and examples of great thinkers and writers, with many gifts, and that it is in our relationship to these gifts, the ways they define us and the uses we make of them, that we create meaning and purpose in our lives and begin to realize the true potential of our common humanity.
I want to distinguish between two broad categories of gifts. The first are external, those we receive from birth or circumstance, and the second are internal, those of talent, ability, and affinity. Both kinds are important, in different ways. External gifts, those we receive from parents and teachers, gifts of home, school, and the many advantages of physical and moral support, give us our start in life, the foundation we need to be self-sustaining, independent, and able to establish a place for ourselves in the world. That’s important. But the internal, in the long run, count for even more and are the gifts I want to focus on today. Why? Because recognizing our strengths and abilities and devoting our personal and working lives to developing them to the utmost, not only forms the basis of our adult identities but helps us apply ourselves to the best choices of personal relationships, professions, the very paths our lives will take. As Scott so wisely said in his senior speech, “everyone has something about them that makes them unique, and different, and better at something than almost everyone else.”
More specifically, what are these unique somethings? One is the gift of reason, since it has made possible most of what we today recognize as the essential qualities of human life, from our homes to our transportation systems to our schools to our many entertainments. Another is the ability to feel, both for ourselves and others, a gift which allows us to develop our friendships, our loves, our empathy for the experiences and sufferings of our fellow human beings. Exercising this gift both creates the most valuable, lasting human connections we will ever experience and allows us to develop the emotional resources to survive loss and overcome grief. A third is the gift of wisdom, residing in the ability of our human spirits to extract insight from our experience, to identify values which give meaning and guidance to our lives. We don’t have to look far to find this gift, for the members of the senior class have shared it with each other and with the rest of us, in their speeches. They have given us abundant evidence of the wisdom they have already gleaned, some of it metaphorical, some of it personal, all of it expressed in lively, compelling language. Here is just a sampling of the wisdom I found while re-reading their speeches. (this list is by no means exhaustive, and bears with it my apologies to the many brilliant remarks which the constraints of time force me to omit)--
Some of you told us of your belief in the possibilities of new, even infinite identities:
Ross—“take a chance, try on a new costume, make people take a second glance.” (nice metaphor and it rhymes)
Shebani—“Every day is a new opportunity to create ourselves.” (I like that phrase, we create ourselves)
Some of you talked of finding the keys to well-being in unexpected places:
Ben—“napping is good for both body and soul”
Rachel—“Kissing has many health benefits.”
Some created metaphors for your understanding of life:
Jamie—“Skiing is a metaphor for life. . . [so find] what makes you feel the most exhilarated, the most content with yourself as skiing has done for me.”
Max—(our appropriately honored speaker today, with a phrase containing both literal and symbolic meanings) “quit ya cryin and take out da gahbage.”
Alexis—“the world is an amazing place, . . . [and] there is an adventure lurking around every corner” (corner metaphor)
Rick‘s mechanical, perhaps automotive metaphor: “Find the person in your life . . who inspires you, who pushes you to that extra gear you didn’t think existed.”
Jake—“Life is a lot like a comic strip, and we can all be the star of our own comic.”
Others of you gave us the benefit of your personal values and outlook on life:
Annie, one of the bravest people I know— the ability to take life’s pains a day at a time and persevere allows us to survive our toughest tests and hardships.
Abby—“Don’t compete to knock others down; . . .compete to bring out the best in people and pave the way for new friendships.”
Amanda—“We have an obligation to be aware of ourselves and the world around us, to be involved.”
Finally, some of you found simple, eloquent words to express your most profound beliefs:
Katie—“find your bliss, quiet your mind, flirt with folly, and let go.”
Alexa—(in a nice turn of phrase) “the happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes their way.”
Lauren—(memorable use of anaphora) “Love people, love life, and love yourself.”
I’m blown away. There’s no way I can do better than the members of our senior class have already done in imparting pearls of wisdom. But there is yet one more gift I want to mention, one which lies latent within us all and which we can develop in many ways, one of the most profound for me being the study of literature. To me it is the most fundamental of all our intrinsic gifts, perhaps because it is the gift most closely related to what I do for a living, and therefore the gift I spend the most time trying to help my students discover and develop within themselves each year. This is the gift of moral imagination, the ability to understand the implications of actions, to grasp the power of choice, to discover what William Faulkner called “the old verities, the universal truths of the heart—love, honor, pity, pride, compassion, sacrifice.” It is moral imagination which allows us to see life through another’s eyes, to invent new visions and possibilitiesfor ourselves, to feel and develop our powers of compassion, to recognize our common humanity in those we first identify as different or wrong, that is the foundation of the study of literature, work which has defined much of my life and from which I have learned many of my most powerful lessons.
For me, moral imagination is Scott Fitzgerald making us understand why Nick Caraway insists that a corrupt bootlegger named Gatsby, who believed in the possibilities of rebirth, “is worth [as Nick says] the whole damn bunch put together.”
Moral imagination is Shakespeare showing us that even a bloody tyrant like Macbeth, deserving as he no doubt is of the death which comes to him, nonetheless merits sympathy for suffering the pangs of unending remorse for the destruction of his own potential greatness.
It is Mary Shelley, teaching us the power of loneliness, which drives a hideous but tormented creature to exact a terrible revenge on his creator.
It is Leo Tolstoy, taking us deep into the heart of a dying Russian bureaucrat, who redeems himself almost at the moment of death by honestly accepting the falseness of his entire life.
It is my much-beloved Hamlet, struggling against the ethical evils of revenge, the dangers of choosing violence over reflection, only to understand in the end that there are times we must act to stop the spread of evil, in our families, in our communities, in our worlds.
And, in what is for me one of the most luminous passages in all literature, it is Huckleberry Finn, an uneducated, highly prejudiced country boy, who overcomes his entire background and flawed culture in a moment of transcendent courage when he decides to sacrifice his own soul to give freedom to a runaway slave who is his best friend and truest father figure.
The power of language, of stories, is such that the words of these great writers allow us to see (and notice, please that this meaning is at the heart of the word imagine) see the larger, deeper possibilities which give meaning and value to human life, and thus give us one of the most precious and valuable gifts any of us can possess.
I end by reminding the members of the senior class, as they prepare to leave this school and embark on the next stages of their journeys, of the many gifts they will take with them, from their parents, their teachers, the great writers, and from each other. We are truly all gifted.
I want to distinguish between two broad categories of gifts. The first are external, those we receive from birth or circumstance, and the second are internal, those of talent, ability, and affinity. Both kinds are important, in different ways. External gifts, those we receive from parents and teachers, gifts of home, school, and the many advantages of physical and moral support, give us our start in life, the foundation we need to be self-sustaining, independent, and able to establish a place for ourselves in the world. That’s important. But the internal, in the long run, count for even more and are the gifts I want to focus on today. Why? Because recognizing our strengths and abilities and devoting our personal and working lives to developing them to the utmost, not only forms the basis of our adult identities but helps us apply ourselves to the best choices of personal relationships, professions, the very paths our lives will take. As Scott so wisely said in his senior speech, “everyone has something about them that makes them unique, and different, and better at something than almost everyone else.”
More specifically, what are these unique somethings? One is the gift of reason, since it has made possible most of what we today recognize as the essential qualities of human life, from our homes to our transportation systems to our schools to our many entertainments. Another is the ability to feel, both for ourselves and others, a gift which allows us to develop our friendships, our loves, our empathy for the experiences and sufferings of our fellow human beings. Exercising this gift both creates the most valuable, lasting human connections we will ever experience and allows us to develop the emotional resources to survive loss and overcome grief. A third is the gift of wisdom, residing in the ability of our human spirits to extract insight from our experience, to identify values which give meaning and guidance to our lives. We don’t have to look far to find this gift, for the members of the senior class have shared it with each other and with the rest of us, in their speeches. They have given us abundant evidence of the wisdom they have already gleaned, some of it metaphorical, some of it personal, all of it expressed in lively, compelling language. Here is just a sampling of the wisdom I found while re-reading their speeches. (this list is by no means exhaustive, and bears with it my apologies to the many brilliant remarks which the constraints of time force me to omit)--
Some of you told us of your belief in the possibilities of new, even infinite identities:
Ross—“take a chance, try on a new costume, make people take a second glance.” (nice metaphor and it rhymes)
Shebani—“Every day is a new opportunity to create ourselves.” (I like that phrase, we create ourselves)
Some of you talked of finding the keys to well-being in unexpected places:
Ben—“napping is good for both body and soul”
Rachel—“Kissing has many health benefits.”
Some created metaphors for your understanding of life:
Jamie—“Skiing is a metaphor for life. . . [so find] what makes you feel the most exhilarated, the most content with yourself as skiing has done for me.”
Max—(our appropriately honored speaker today, with a phrase containing both literal and symbolic meanings) “quit ya cryin and take out da gahbage.”
Alexis—“the world is an amazing place, . . . [and] there is an adventure lurking around every corner” (corner metaphor)
Rick‘s mechanical, perhaps automotive metaphor: “Find the person in your life . . who inspires you, who pushes you to that extra gear you didn’t think existed.”
Jake—“Life is a lot like a comic strip, and we can all be the star of our own comic.”
Others of you gave us the benefit of your personal values and outlook on life:
Annie, one of the bravest people I know— the ability to take life’s pains a day at a time and persevere allows us to survive our toughest tests and hardships.
Abby—“Don’t compete to knock others down; . . .compete to bring out the best in people and pave the way for new friendships.”
Amanda—“We have an obligation to be aware of ourselves and the world around us, to be involved.”
Finally, some of you found simple, eloquent words to express your most profound beliefs:
Katie—“find your bliss, quiet your mind, flirt with folly, and let go.”
Alexa—(in a nice turn of phrase) “the happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes their way.”
Lauren—(memorable use of anaphora) “Love people, love life, and love yourself.”
I’m blown away. There’s no way I can do better than the members of our senior class have already done in imparting pearls of wisdom. But there is yet one more gift I want to mention, one which lies latent within us all and which we can develop in many ways, one of the most profound for me being the study of literature. To me it is the most fundamental of all our intrinsic gifts, perhaps because it is the gift most closely related to what I do for a living, and therefore the gift I spend the most time trying to help my students discover and develop within themselves each year. This is the gift of moral imagination, the ability to understand the implications of actions, to grasp the power of choice, to discover what William Faulkner called “the old verities, the universal truths of the heart—love, honor, pity, pride, compassion, sacrifice.” It is moral imagination which allows us to see life through another’s eyes, to invent new visions and possibilitiesfor ourselves, to feel and develop our powers of compassion, to recognize our common humanity in those we first identify as different or wrong, that is the foundation of the study of literature, work which has defined much of my life and from which I have learned many of my most powerful lessons.
For me, moral imagination is Scott Fitzgerald making us understand why Nick Caraway insists that a corrupt bootlegger named Gatsby, who believed in the possibilities of rebirth, “is worth [as Nick says] the whole damn bunch put together.”
Moral imagination is Shakespeare showing us that even a bloody tyrant like Macbeth, deserving as he no doubt is of the death which comes to him, nonetheless merits sympathy for suffering the pangs of unending remorse for the destruction of his own potential greatness.
It is Mary Shelley, teaching us the power of loneliness, which drives a hideous but tormented creature to exact a terrible revenge on his creator.
It is Leo Tolstoy, taking us deep into the heart of a dying Russian bureaucrat, who redeems himself almost at the moment of death by honestly accepting the falseness of his entire life.
It is my much-beloved Hamlet, struggling against the ethical evils of revenge, the dangers of choosing violence over reflection, only to understand in the end that there are times we must act to stop the spread of evil, in our families, in our communities, in our worlds.
And, in what is for me one of the most luminous passages in all literature, it is Huckleberry Finn, an uneducated, highly prejudiced country boy, who overcomes his entire background and flawed culture in a moment of transcendent courage when he decides to sacrifice his own soul to give freedom to a runaway slave who is his best friend and truest father figure.
The power of language, of stories, is such that the words of these great writers allow us to see (and notice, please that this meaning is at the heart of the word imagine) see the larger, deeper possibilities which give meaning and value to human life, and thus give us one of the most precious and valuable gifts any of us can possess.
I end by reminding the members of the senior class, as they prepare to leave this school and embark on the next stages of their journeys, of the many gifts they will take with them, from their parents, their teachers, the great writers, and from each other. We are truly all gifted.
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