Tuesday, July 31, 2007

1.0--On Things Grammatical

A. Here’s the problem:
Those of you who attended ninth grade at PCDS received one of the most thorough groundings in English language, grammar, and usage known to Western civilization. You were drilled—even if at times that drill may have felt like a three-eighths inch cordless variable speed Black & Decker—in all the fundamentals and now, fortunately, you couldn’t forget them even if you tried. They’re with you the rest of your life.

That’s the good news. The bad news is that a few of you didn’t quite get it all stored in long-term memory the first time. Also, being seventeen-and-a-half and having many things besides English grammar on your minds, you get a little careless from time to time and forget to apply what you already know. Thus problems arise, since as an English teacher, my eyes are highly trained by thirty years of reading student essays. I find errors in grammar with a keenness of vision exceeded only by a hawk circling the sky searching for the field mouse which will be its mid-morning snack. I have about as much compassion as the hawk, too. In my system of values, no paper containing basic grammatical mistakes is eligible for a high grade.

B. What to do:
Train yourself to read your drafts with hawks’ eyes. Write the draft twenty-four hours before editing; you’ll have a better chance of seeing what it says rather than what you meant to say. Read it aloud, sentence by sentence, slowly, forcing yourself to slow down to a speed that lets you see what’s really there. Always trade drafts with a partner and help each other reduce the number of what the tennis players call unforced errors.

All these strategies take time, so they all require you to begin early and break your essay writing down into a process: draft, rest, edit for content, rest, edit for style, rest, proofread for mechanics, and if possible repeat the last five steps again. Many of you won’t always have or take the time to be so meticulous about your work, but learning what to look for and putting in the time are essential steps toward making yourself a better writer.

C. Chapter Outline

1.1 Subject-verb agreement
1.2 Verb tenses
1.3 Pronoun agreement
1.4 Vague pronouns
1.5 Possessive pronouns
1.6 Comma splices
1.7 Passive voice
1.8 Dashes
1.9 No excuses, no mercy

1.1--Subject-Verb Agreement

A. Here’s the problem:
You’ve been taught these rules a few dozen times, and you know they’re not that difficult, but sometimes you get careless. Either you forget to proofread carefully or, more often, your sentences contain compound subjects or phrases between the subject and verb that temporarily blind you to the real subject-verb agreement.

B. What to do:
As you revise your essays, look carefully at sentences to make certain whether the grammatical subject of each clause is singular or plural. More importantly, make sure you’re looking at the true subject, not a word in a prepositional phrase.

C. Example: Mr. Darcy’s pride and his aloof nature prevents him from meeting and understanding Elizabeth. . .
Corrected Version: Mr. Darcy’s pride and his aloof nature prevent him from meeting and understanding Elizabeth. . .

D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Jane Austen’s novel, as well as her many others, have been and continue to be enjoyed by many.
2. Elizabeth’s response to Mr. Darcy and Lady Catherine are two of the best scenes in the novel because they illustrate her heroism.

E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/sv_agr.htm
Strunk & White, pp. 9-11 (available at http://www.bartleby.com/141/)

1.2--Verb Tenses

A. Here’s the problem:
There are lots of ways you can run into problems with verb tenses, but there’s one I get particularly tired of marking: passages that flip-flop between present and past tenses with nary a hint of rhyme or reason. It’s mostly a sin of omission—the writer probably knows the difference between the two but forgets or simply doesn’t bother to check.

B. What to do:
Especially when writing about literature, pick a basic tense and stick with it. Either present or past will do, although I recommend present. Stick to your basic tense in your draft, then check for any inconsistencies during revision.

C. Example: When Elizabeth refused Darcy’s proposal, the reader feels she is right in doing so.
Corrected Version: When Elizabeth refuses Darcy’s proposal, the reader feels she is right in doing so.

D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Darcy was completely rude to Elizabeth; therefore, she and the rest of the neighborhood begin to dislike him.
2. Mrs. Reynolds described Darcy as “generous-hearted.” Elizabeth then encounters Mr. Darcy at his estate.

E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, pp. 31-32 (http://www.bartleby.com/141/ )
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/sequence.htm

1.3--Pronouns I: Agreement

A. Here’s the problem:
It’s remarkably easy to be careless about pronoun-antecedent agreement, but few writing errors short of rampant sentence fragments or failure to spell-check are more revealing of a paper that was turned in without being carefully proofread. Those of you who aren’t detail people sometimes have the toughest time with this one.

B. What to do:
Check and double-check. Check with an editing partner. Make sure singular antecedents get singular pronouns. Same with plural. You know the rules; it’s just a matter of finding the mistakes and fixing them when you revise.

C. Example: Several marriages are presented in the novel, each with their own conflict and each with their own purpose.
Corrected Version: Several marriages are presented in the novel, each with its own conflict and each with its own purpose.

D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. When an author writes a novel, they labor over the right word to use to describe the person, place, situation, or thing in the novel.
2. Each of these marriages have their own ironies and each strongly contrast to the others.

E. For more information or additional practice, check the following source:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/pronouns.htm

1.4--Pronouns II (Vague)

A. Here’s the problem:
When you write about literature, you’re trying to come up with ideas, draw conclusions, say important things. Unfortunately, you sometimes cut corners, using demonstratives—this, that, these, and those—to refer to complete sentences or to ideas previously stated. This won’t do.

B. What to do:
Your writing will be more precise if you simply avoid using the four demonstratives as pronouns and either use them as adjectives or recast the sentence to eliminate them. They do have appropriate uses as pronouns—otherwise they wouldn’t be listed as such—but for our purposes they’re better off as adjectives or omitted altogether.

C. Example: Mr. Darcy is not as horrible as first expected. This is shown when he stands up for Elizabeth, commenting about her eyes.
Corrected Version: Mr. Darcy is not as horrible as first expected. We begin to like him when he stands up for Elizabeth, commenting about her eyes.

D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Elizabeth looks at the mind instead of the money. She demonstrates this particularly well in her conversation with Lady Catherine.
2. She stands firm in her belief, respecting people for intelligence rather than wealth; She earns my respect in doing this because . . .

E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_pronuse.html

1.5--Pronouns III: Possessives

A. Here’s the problem:
Correct formation of possessive nouns—‘s for single possessive, s’ for plural possessive—stays in the no excuses, no mercy category. But two other possessive rules deserve quick mention here because they pop up like unwanted weeds in your writing.

B. What to do:
1. Its is a possessive pronoun, referring to some quality or property belonging to it; it’s is a contraction meaning “it is.” Possessive personal pronouns don’t take apostrophes; contractions do.
2. A pronoun before a gerund is in the possessive case.

C. Example: When Mr. Bingley spoke of his four to five thousand pounds a year, Mrs. Bennet thought of him marrying one of her daughters.
Corrected Version: When Mr. Bingley spoke of his four to five thousand pounds a year, Mrs. Bennet thought of his marrying one of her daughters.

D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Mother objected to us driving on the icy roads.
2. She understands how marriage was dictated by her setting and its idea that the union between a man and a woman existed primarily to better one’s status in life.

E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, p. 12 or http://www.bartleby.com/141/ http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/gerunds.htm#possessive

1.6--Comma Splices

A. Here’s the problem:
You’ll find the run-on sentence in my list of “no excuses, no mercy” items at the end of this section. But the run-on has a first cousin—the comma splice—which is a constant thorn in my side when I’m correcting papers. Essentially the problem occurs whenever you fuse (“splice”) two independent clauses with only a comma. They’re much too common among high school writers, and my goal for this page is to take a giant step toward eradicating these writing demons.

B. What to do:
The problem has three basic solutions. If the two clauses are closely related in meaning and joined by a conjunctive adverb, replace the comma with a semicolon. Adding a subordinating or coordinating conjunction may also rescue you from the mire. More frequently, your writing will be clearer, cleaner, and more fluid if you separate the comma splice into two sentences.

C. Example: Because of his wealth, Mr. Collins finds himself to be a perfect match for any bachelorette, ironically, it is his pride that makes him unattractive to Elizabeth and the reader.

Corrected Version: Because of his wealth, Mr. Collins finds himself to be a perfect match for any bachelorette; ironically, it is his pride that makes him unattractive to Elizabeth and the reader.

D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.

1. Mr. Collins is absurd and his life seems a waste, he senselessly follows the orders of Lady Catherine.
2. Sadly, Elizabeth’s parents cannot agree with her decision, her mother will never see her again if she does not accept the marriage, while her father also will never see her again if she does marry Collins (see also section 2.1, concise sentences)
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_commaproof.html

1.7--Passive Voice

A. Here’s the problem:
Where do I start? Passive voice is weaker than active, it clouds the issue of exactly who is performing the action of the verb, it’s used by people who want to be deliberately vague or evade responsibility—“mistakes were made”—and most of the time it sounds awkward. It is used legitimately only when the origin of the action is unknown or when a writer wishes to deliberately shift emphasis (e.g. in “The Hawaiian Islands were first visited by Captain Cook,” the focus is on the islands’ history).

B. What to do:
Ninety-eight percent of the time, simply rewrite the sentence in the active voice.

C. Example: The letter that was written by Darcy and given to Elizabeth the next day explained all his supposed cruelties and showed him in a better light.
Corrected Version: Darcy wrote a letter and gave it to Elizabeth the next day, explaining all his supposed cruelties and showing himself in a better light.

D. Now you try—write corrected versions of the following sentences.
1. Much time was spent together and Darcy’s love grew, he was infatuated.
2. But I still had my faith that this love would arise and happiness would be instilled.
E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/passive.htm (includes a quiz)
Strunk & White, pp. 18-19 (http://www.bartleby.com/141/ )

1.8--Dashes

A. Here’s the problem:
Dashes are without doubt my favorite marks of punctuation—they’re remarkably versative and allow me to insert one thought inside another—but few of you have any clue how to use them.

B. What to do:
I quote Strunk & White (9): “Use a dash to set off an abrupt break or interruption, and to announce a long appositive or summary. A dash is. . . stronger than a comma, less formal than a colon, and more relaxed than parentheses.” (N.B. To make a dash, type option-shift-hyphen with no spaces before or after.)

C. Example: Wharton’s New York is a place where pretending to be a model of rectitude (i.e. Lawrence Lefferts, etc) gives one the power to condemn.

Corrected Version: Wharton’s New York is a place where pretending to be a model of rectitude—Lawrence Lefferts is one example—gives one the power to condemn.

D. Now you try—write a corrected version of the following sentence.
1. Darcy’s love for Elizabeth despite her lower standing illuminates another part of Darcy’s character; his desire for a companion of both equality and beauty, regardless of wealth.

E. For more information or additional practice, check the following sources:
Strunk & White, p. 9 (http://www.bartleby.com/141/ )
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/dash.htm

F. Finally, here are two all-too-infrequent uses of dashes from students’ papers.

1. Darcy is the last person she would consider marrying, but her response is—to modern sensibilities, at least—relatively mild.
2. Archer’s last decision—to hold his relationship with Ellen only as a memory—is perhaps Wharton’s final comment on the power of his world.

1.9--No Excuses, No Mercy

A. Here’s the problem:
The thought of a high school senior carelessly making errors a conscientious fifth grader would be ashamed of appalls me. Either the writer is too lazy to find and correct these mistakes in revision or has difficulty with attention to detail and simply doesn’t see the mistake. The more of these basic errors I mark, the more I clench my teeth, narrow my eyes, and resolve to make the writer pay for my annoyance—and my headache—when I get around to assigning the essay a grade.

B. What to do:
Don’t let it happen to you. Revise your essays once for content and once for style, and make proofreading a completely separate step. If you genuinely can’t do a good job finding proofreading errors, work with a partner who’s better at it than you are. Or check your essay sentence by sentence starting at the end. A partial list of total no-no’s includes at least the following:
-- Failure to spell check
-- Sentence fragments and run-ons
-- Ignoring basic comma rules (compounds sentences, series, etc)
-- To/too, then/than, their/there/they’re, who’s/whose, your/you’re, affect/effect etc.
-- Writing things that simply don’t make sense

C. Examples (PCDS seniors wrote these sentences; I swear I’m not making this up):
-- Mrs. Bennet wanted her daughters married well so that there future would be better then it was going to be.
-- Elizabeth had two other men, William Collins and George Wickham, in her life and still succeed in being single and marring Darcy.
-- The only ill affected people are Lydia who pretty much deserved what she got and Charlotte Lucas who at least seems to be coping with her marriage to Mr. Collins.
-- Its message is no less powerful then that of the other novel.
-- Mr. Bennet is not only one of the most humorous characters in the book but is also a stalk character.
-- Yet, of all the different scenes that take place, it is perhaps the people who are most the inner-most parts of Jane Austin’s mind.
-- Elizabeth does not directly ask Darcy weather Wickham’s allegations were true.
-- The way that none of the ridiculous characters in Pride and Prejudice are aware of their own absurdity.
-- Such social gatherings as these present times when new characters are introduced and the first impressions, which are so very important to this novel, are made.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Your class blog

The primary forum for written work is your blog. You are required to post weekly blog entries relating to the literature studied in the classroom. Your blogs will receive a grade, accounting for 30% of each quarter’s grade. Blogs should be as long as they need to be to say what you have to say about some aspect of that week's reading, but a good guideline is 500 words, more if you discover you have a lot to say on a topic. I will not, however, grade primarily by length; rather, quantity will be the least important of four criteria, after regularity of entries, style, and, most importantly, originality of content. Instructions about creating and posting blog entries may be found on my blog at mrcoonsenglish.blogspot.com.

Occasionally I will ask you to respond to particular prompts or questions on my blog, but often there is no set topic for your weekly entries. Rather, I ask you to find an element of the assigned reading that interests you and discuss it thoughtfully. This comment may take many forms, a few of which are suggested here:
• Discuss a character’s actions, words, personality, moral values, or humanity.
• Comment on the writer’s style, use of language, tone, irony, or imagery.
• Consider a topic or idea raised in class discussion, trying to go beyond what has already been stated.
• Raise and discuss a question about the text under consideration.
• Discuss the importance or meaning of a key passage or scene from the reading.
• For longer works, show how a scene or passage develops a theme or pattern identified in class.
• Make a comparison between a scene, character, or idea from the literature and something from another source or from your own experience
• Use an idea from my blog or from that of one of your classmates as a point of departure for your response.
• Locate relevant research material on the web, post a link to the site on your blog, and discuss your choice.

In all cases, your goals are to demonstrate close, careful reading of assigned texts, challenge yourself to creative, original thinking, write in an honest, authentic voice, and develop your fluency as a writer. Several times each semester, I will ask you to revise a blog entry, either expanding it, making its content more specific, or improving its focus, style, or organization. These revised entries will be submitted to me as hard copies and graded separately from your blogs as papers. Your papers will account for another 30% of your grade (419).

Sunday, July 8, 2007

How are writing and playing music similar?

"Whether in music or in fiction, the most basic thing is rhythm. Your style needs to have good, natural, steady rhythm, or people won’t keep reading your work. I learned the importance of rhythm from music — and mainly from jazz. Next comes melody — which, in literature, means the appropriate arrangement of the words to match the rhythm. If the way the words fit the rhythm is smooth and beautiful, you can’t ask for anything more. Next is harmony — the internal mental sounds that support the words. Then comes the part I like best: free improvisation. Through some special channel, the story comes welling out freely from inside. All I have to do is get into the flow. Finally comes what may be the most important thing: that high you experience upon completing a work — upon ending your “performance” and feeling you have succeeded in reaching a place that is new and meaningful. And if all goes well, you get to share that sense of elevation with your readers (your audience). That is a marvelous culmination that can be achieved in no other way."

--Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami. Read the entire essay in the New York Times Book Review